


Two Can Keep A Secret (If One Of Them Is Dead)

by joidianne4eva



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-18 15:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2354102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joidianne4eva/pseuds/joidianne4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hide didn't know what he'd expected out of life but he was fairly certain that none of his aspirations included being dragged into the world of ghouls after rescuing a little girl...and his dreams surely hadn't included the white haired ghoul who wouldn't leave him alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This might turn into a multi-chapter thing depending on if I can find a beta and or soundboard for my ideas. 
> 
> Currently unbeta'd.

“What the hell do you mean he’s coming **_here_**?!”

Touka’s voice was a shrill shriek that almost made Hide lose his grip on the tray of cups he’d been shuffling around with for the last ten minutes. He wasn’t completely sure what he was supposed to do with them but he also wasn’t going to ask because that would draw Touka’s attention and the last thing he needed was Touka’s attention.

“First you let that human stay here and now you want him to come back?”

Hide’s hands shook slightly but he didn’t let Touka’s words faze him. He was working at the shop because Yoshimura had offered him a place after he’d rescued Hinami and lost his own family in the process. Hinami hadn’t been willing to stay if Hide didn’t so he’d stayed as well despite Touka’s attitude.

The others didn’t mind him much and the customers usually just ignored him but it was ok because at least he had somewhere to stay.

“Kaneki needs a place where he can re-evaluate his choices and we’ve decided that this is the best…”

The door opening drew Hide’s attention from their conversation and he slipped the tray onto the counter as he turned to greet their new customer.

The man that walked through the door was tall though not much taller than Hide. His shocking white hair seemed to glow as he stood in the doorway but what drew Hide’s attention was the eye patch.

Shaking himself from his stupor Hide stepped forward, bowing slightly.

“Welcome, sir, can I offer you a seat?” he greeted.

The man stared at him for a long moment and Hide really hoped he wasn’t another gourmet because that was the last thing they needed so soon after Nishio and Touka almost got eaten when they took on Shuu.

The man took a step forward and Hide fought the urge to step back, he could feel his smile cracking but he forced himself to maintain the expression even when the man was so close that Hide could smell his cologne.

The man lowered his head and inhaled slowly. The sound of the air rushing into his nostrils had goose bumps pebbling Hide’s skin.

“You smell interesting,”

The whispered words had Hide dancing backwards out of range of the strange ghoul because only a ghoul would say something like that without batting an eye.

When the man didn’t attack him or do anything other than straighten from his slouch, Hide scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. Maybe the man had just been complimenting him? Though Hide wasn’t sure that being told he smelled interesting was actually a compliment.

“I’ve been trying out a new cologne…” he offered up before the situation could get any more awkward.

The man blinked then shrugged, “Perhaps,” he responded almost amicably but Hide could hear in his voice that he didn’t think that was it.

“Kaneki-kun, you’re back!”

Hide gaped when Hinami bowled straight into the other ghoul but the man didn’t seem surprised as he lifted a hand to stroke the teen’s hair. Hide’s eyes dropped to the ghoul’s black nails but he didn’t comment because if Hinami was ok around the man then he couldn’t be that bad.

The ghoul knelt so that he was level with Hinami. The smile he flashed the young teen made Hide’s heart speed up but he quickly glanced away busying himself with the cups he’d abandoned when the man whispered something to Hinami.

A moment later a familiar hand was curling against Hide’s palm and he grinned down at Hinami but the girl was staring at the stranger.

“And this is Hide-kun, he’s really nice and he lives here now because his house burned down….” Hinami trailed off and the dark expression on her face said she was remembering the events that had led to the fire.

“It’s ok, I get to live here with Hinami now,” he cut in, shooting her a blinding smile which she returned though it was a watery version but Hide would take whatever he could get.

“I’ve heard a lot about you from Yoshimura. Apparently you’re quite the worker,”

Hide shrugged, he didn’t have a problem working and he actually enjoyed his job. He didn’t tell the man that though because Touka didn’t like him talking to customers for too long.

“Tell me _Hide-kun_ ,” the way that the man purred his name made Hide shudder, “…do you do much when you’re not working?”

“I-I go to university,” Hide managed to force out, his smile slipping away as he met the ghoul’s uncovered eye.

The man grinned, “That’s a nice coincidence, I’m starting university as well. Maybe we’ll see each other around…”

Hide opened his mouth to respond but before he could find a single word that didn’t make him sound like an idiot the ghoul leaned in even closer.

“After all it would be a shame to lose such an interesting smell.”


	2. You Swore You'd Never Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is this seat taken?”
> 
> The familiar voice made Hide’s head snap up only to find the ghoul from the day before standing just mere inches away from him.
> 
> “I…no,” Hide stuttered, his face flushing as he noticed the attention they were getting. He wasn’t surprised because Kaneki looked like someone who was more suited to a television screen than a lecture hall…the eye patch probably just added to his mystique.

Despite his attitude, Hide didn’t make friends easily. It was probably why he treasured Hinami’s presence so much. His parents hadn’t understood it and Hide didn’t know how to tell them that where they saw bright smiling faces, he saw the calculated curve of lips displayed to ensure that they captured attention. Where his parents heard people call his name with supposed affection, Hide heard that faint bored quality, pitched to mask annoyance. The fact that the other students at the Kami University only knew him as Hideyoshi was proof that none of them had cared enough for him to consider labelling them as a friend.

He laughed with them and worked with them but like his relationship with Nishio, Hide was certain that he would be forgotten or cast aside in the blink of an eye.

Only Hinami and Yoshimura had come to his parents’ funeral and only Hinami had knocked on his door when he’d stayed in bed for days as remembered the flicker of the flames that had claimed his family.

People thought the world was black and white, that the ghouls were the enemy and the CCG was meant to protect them all but Hide knew it wasn’t so clear cut because the ghouls hadn’t been the ones who started the fire.

Hide gritted his teeth as he stared at the hand holding his pen, willing it to stop shaking because the last thing he wanted was to draw attention to himself. He’d promised Hinami that he’d try going to class and he wasn’t about to break his promise.

He’d arrived early and found a seat at the rear of the lecture hall, hoping beyond hope that the class wouldn’t be full today because all he really wanted was to be left alone.

“Is this seat taken?”

The familiar voice made Hide’s head snap up only to find the ghoul from the day before standing just mere inches away from him.

“I…no,” Hide stuttered, his face flushing as he noticed the attention they were getting. He wasn’t surprised because Kaneki looked like someone who was more suited to a television screen than a lecture hall…the eye patch probably just added to his mystique.

Kaneki smiled and lowered himself into the seat, “I was looking for you today but Hinami said you’d already left.”

Hide shrugged, “Better early than late,” he responded, deliberately keeping his tone light.

Kaneki hummed beneath his breath, tapping one finger against the desk, “It’s strange sitting here acting like everything’s normal when I know it isn’t,” he mused.

Hide didn’t know what to say to that so he kept quiet as he stared ahead, desperately trying to not glance at Kaneki. He didn’t know what the ghoul’s story was but there had been genuine anger and fear in Touka’s voice when she was yelling at Yoshimura about whether or not Kaneki was to be allowed back. If that wasn’t enough the other customers’ reactions to Kaneki told Hide that the man wasn’t one to be trifled with.

The sound of bones cracking tore Hide from his thoughts in time for him to watch Kaneki crack another of his fingers, though from the way that the digit hung limp for a second Hide wasn’t sure if Kaneki was just cracking them or if he was actually breaking his own fingers.

A hand pressed against Hide’s leg and it took all of his self-control to keep him lurching away from the touch.

“Kaneki-sama?” he whispered, meeting the ghoul’s eye for the first time since Kaneki had sat down by his side.

“Sometimes, I wonder if it was fate or perhaps just coincidence…” Kaneki muttered to himself, his lips curving into a small smile. “I want to believe that maybe this was all fate but maybe I just read too much, I’ve been told that I have quite an imagination.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hide admitted, keeping his tone soft because the last thing he wanted was to set Kaneki off, especially in a room full of people.

“Didn’t Touka-chan tell you? I was a human once. I even lived here in the 20th ward…before I met _her_ and then after that I was this…”

Hide held his breath as Kaneki reached up and shifted the eye patch just enough to reveal the kakugan in his left eye.

Hide swallowed, fingers tightening around his pen as he tried to hide his reaction. He’d heard of the one eyed ghoul from their ward but he’d never expected it to be someone like Kaneki. Then again Hide had never expected someone like Kaneki at all.

“Please don’t do hurt them.”

The words were out of Hide’s mouth before he knew it. There was a part of his mind that was screaming at him in anger because why did he still care about these people when they didn’t give a damn about him?

Kaneki smiled as he readjusted the eye patch. “So brave, Hide-kun, begging for their lives and not your own,” he murmured as his fingers trailed a path from Hide’s upper thigh to his knee. “This is exactly why I choose you.”

Hide wanted to ask what exactly he’d been chosen for but Kaneki’s hand had already left his leg as his attention shifted to the teacher who had just walked into the lecture hall and the last thing Hide wanted was for Kaneki’s focus to return to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.

“Hi-de-yo-shi-kun.”

Hide’s hands shook as he replaced the cup he’d been cleaning. He was so well acquainted with that voice that not even the playful sing-song tone could lessen his reaction. If anything it just made him more scared and that was an accomplishment seeing as he was already terrified of Kaneki.

Forcing himself to look up Hide pasted on a plastic smile as he met Kaneki’s single eye, his gaze flickering to the eye patch once before he caught himself.

“How can I help you today, Kaneki-sama?” he greeted the ghoul.

Kaneki’s lips curled into a small smile and Hide didn’t understand how someone who looked so innocent and friendly could be so cruel.

“I’d like to go for a walk this evening,” Kaneki mused as he tapped his fingers against the counter top. “Yoshimura thinks it’ll be good for me to see my old neighbourhood again.”

Hide’s smile felt a bit less plastic at the thought of Kaneki being gone even if it was just for a few hours or even a few minutes.

“I’d like you to come with me, Hide-kun,”

The euphoria vanished just as quickly as it had come.

Hide’s skin prickled with goose-bumps as he laughed nervously. “I-I couldn’t, I have duties here until closing and Touka-chan wouldn’t be happy if I just vanished so I’m sorry but I just can’t,” he rebuffed, grabbing a cloth to wipe at a smudged spot on the counter because if he was doing something then he wouldn’t be looking at Kaneki and he couldn’t look at Kaneki, couldn’t meet the ghoul’s knowing gaze because then Hide wouldn’t be able to keep up his façade and Kaneki would…Kaneki would…

A hand grabbed Hide’s wrist, effectively stilling him and he glanced across the counter.

Kaneki’s smile was pleasant but beneath it there was something feral, something that said that Kaneki would gladly reach across and rip Hide’s heart from his chest without a second thought.

“It wasn’t a request,” Kaneki whispered, black tipped fingers loosening so that they could stroke across the exposed skin of Hide’s arm. “It would be such a waste if I lost control out there and someone else had to suffer all because you wouldn’t leave this place but I suppose if that’s what you…”

“I’ll co-I’ll come with you,”

Hide was shaking now and he could feel the eyes of a few of their customers on him but he clenched his jaw before meeting Kaneki’s eyes.

“I’ll come with you,” he repeated and this time his voice didn’t shake as badly as it had on his first attempt.

Kaneki’s smile spread, lighting up his entire face and in a different time, if things were different Hide had no doubt that they could have been friends.

The fingers still holding his wrist stroked across the soft skin where his pulse was thundering but Hide didn’t take his eyes away from Kaneki’s as the ghoul leaned closer.

“I’m not a cruel person, Hide-kun, I don’t _want_ to hurt people or scare you, but I can and I will. Knowing that scares me but I’m also tired of being afraid,” the sound of Kaneki’s finger breaking made Hide’s eyes slam shut but he didn’t try to pull away. “I used to think that by doing nothing, I was being helpful but I wasn’t, I know better now. There are only two rules that govern this world, devour or be devoured. If given the chance, which of those would you choose?”

Hide shook his head, “I can’t…” he whispered only glancing up when Kaneki released his wrist.

The ghoul’s smile was a cruel thing that made Hide long for his room upstairs.

“You can and you will choose,” Kaneki told him. “Just make sure that you make the right choice, Hide-kun, we wouldn’t want you to get eaten, now would we?”

“Kaneki-kun, what are you doing to Hide-kun?”

Hinami’s voice shattered the tableau between them and as he turned to face her Kaneki’s smile softened into something that made Hide want to scream because it was just a mask that hid the ghoul’s madness.

Hinami didn’t notice that though, not as she smiled up at Kaneki.

“I was just inviting Hide-kun out on a walk,” the man responded and when Hinami glanced his way Hide could feel himself shifting his expression into something that contrasted with the terror that had his heart thundering in his chest.

When Hinami grinned at him Hide had to dig his nails into his palms, focusing on the pain instead of the smug grin that Kaneki was sending his way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Now we answer the question.”
> 
> Hide’s entire frame went rigid as Kaneki’s breath ghosted across his nape but his eyes remained glued to the two ghouls who were now rising to their feet.
> 
> “Are you ready to answer it, Hide-kun?” Kaneki continued, as he rested his head on Hide’s shoulder, his soft hair tickling Hide’s face as the ghouls walked towards them.
> 
> “Devour or be devoured, which will you choose?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, RL got in the way but I'll be updating regularly from now on. Thanks to everyone who left kudos and I'll get to all the comments as soon as I've got some free time!

The streets were empty, not completely empty and Hide was thankful for that but they weren’t as busy as they used to be and Hide was sure that it was because of the new binge eater on the loose.

People in the 20th ward adapted as the ghouls did, changing schedules, routes, their entire lives to avoid the danger that seemed to lurk down every dark alley.

It was something that Hide had learned around the same time he’d learned what a ghoul truly was.

The thought had his eyes flickering to his companion.

Kaneki had been quiet since they left the shop and Hide wasn’t sure what that meant but his gut was telling him that it wasn’t anything good and his gut instincts rarely, if ever, led him astray.

“What are you thinking, Hide-kun?”

Kaneki’s voice made Hide start and he blinked when he found the ghoul watching him.

“I could feel you staring at me. If there’s something you want to know, just ask,” Kaneki offered and Hide bit his lip because he could take Kaneki up on his offer but it could also be a trap. Nothing was to be taken at face value when it came to Kaneki and that made Hide want to either laugh or cry because their personalities were so similar that if they’d met under different circumstance Hide was certain that they could have been friends…maybe even best friends.

But the circumstances weren’t different and no matter how he wished it, he couldn’t make things go back to the way they had been…he’d tried hard enough after his parents’ death to know that wishing didn’t change a single thing.

He’d have to accept the hand that fate had dealt him and make the best of it.

“You said you lived here before?” Hide prompted and Kaneki nodded.

“I even attended Kami University for a while,” he responded and Hide frowned because they were in the same age group. If Kaneki had been at the university he would’ve seen him.

“Now you’re trying to figure out why you never noticed me?” Kaneki guessed with a smug smile as he danced up onto one of the rails that lined the overpass. “You saw me; I just wasn’t very noticeable…” Kaneki clarified as he tugged at his hair and there was something niggling at the back of Hide’s mind, an image of a dark-haired man reading a book on a bench but that couldn’t possibly have been Kaneki…could it?

“I certainly noticed you, Hideyoshi-kun,” Kaneki added in a whisper and Hide frowned at him but Kaneki wasn’t done. “I noticed you before I was a ghoul and after. There’s just something about you, something….delicious.”

Hide gritted his teeth as he glowered at the ghoul, fingers clenching to keep them from shaking because he knew that Kaneki was aware of what he was doing…Kaneki knew that his words were affecting him, the ghoul could probably smell his fear but Hide would be damned before he let Kaneki see it.

Opening his mouth with an excuse of homework as a reason for them to head back, Hide froze.

Up ahead he could just make out two figures hunched over a third and for a second he thought they’d stumbled across a robbery.

The thought vanished as quickly as it had come when one of the figures lifted its head and the glint of the streetlight highlighted the blood smearing the woman’s face.

“Now we answer the question.”

Hide’s entire frame went rigid as Kaneki’s breath ghosted across his nape but his eyes remained glued to the two ghouls who were now rising to their feet.

“Are you ready to answer it, Hide-kun?” Kaneki continued, as he rested his head on Hide’s shoulder, his soft hair tickling Hide’s face as the ghouls walked towards them.

“Devour or be devoured, which will you choose?”

*O*

Hide could barely see in front of his face but that didn’t stop him as he ran. He could hear the ghouls behind him, could almost smell their rancid breath as they chased him and he knew he had to keep moving because if he didn’t…

_Devour or be devoured._

Skidding around a corner Hide almost whimpered at the sight of a large wired metal fence that was the only thing standing between him and the well-lit streets but he didn’t have time for self-pity. He couldn’t let them catch him, he had to get back to the shop, back to Hinami and Nishio and even Touka.

Taking a few steps back Hide sprinted forward and flung himself at the fence, wincing when sharp shards of metal tore at his skin but he barely noticed them as he dragged himself higher and higher, his shoes skidding across the uneven surface as he climbed.

“Why are you running, Hide-kun?”

Hide gritted his teeth and ignored the voice coming from above him.

Out of the corner of his eye he could just make out the darker shadow on top of the fence that he took for Kaneki but the ghoul had made it damn clear that he wasn’t going to lift a finger to help Hide so Hide wasn’t going to waste a single breath on him.

“Those ghouls might have families they need to feed. They could have loved ones depending on them. You wouldn’t rob them of a meal, would you?”

Hide’s fingers were slick with sweat and blood, making it harder for him to keep a grip but falling wasn’t an option either so even as his muscles screamed at him he pulled himself higher.

“Here they come now.”

Kaneki’s words were barely a whisper and Hide hardly had a chance to register what the other man had said when something wrapped around his leg and _pulled._

Hide screamed as he fell, fingers reaching out for the metal grate even as his body plummeted and when he hit the ground, he hit it hard enough to rattle every tooth in his head.

The impact punched the air from his lungs and fire raced up his spine.

Gasping like a fish, Hide forced himself to roll over onto his hands and knees.

The two ghouls grinned as they watched him.

“What do we have here?” the female laughed as her companion licked his bloody lips.

“Fresh meat,” he responded and Hide blinked as something dripped down his forehead and into his eye.

Forcing himself to his feet, he listed to the side as his left leg almost gave out beneath him.

He had to keep moving, for Hinami…

“Three in one night, I swear it’s our luck day,” the male laughed.

He had to get home to Hinami…

“Oh look is he crying? Poor baby.”

He had to live for Hinami…

“Don’t worry, this’ll only hurt a lot,” the woman purred as she took a step forward.

He wanted to live for himself…

He wanted to…

“Devour.”

The ghouls in front of him stopped.

“What?” the woman asked, her face twisted in confusion but Hide wasn’t looking at them, he was looking at the white-haired ghoul standing behind them.

Kaneki met his eyes solemnly and Hide swallowed.

“Devour,” he repeated and the word was barely out of his mouth when both ghouls were swept up into the air impaled on Kaneki’s kagune.

Hide shivered as Kaneki walked towards him, still holding both ghouls aloft over their heads and Hide flinched when a splatter of blood rained down on him as the female ghoul struggled but before she could work herself free more of the appendages burst from Kaneki’s skin, coiling around her.

Hide held Kaneki’s gaze as the ghoul reached out, fingers cupping Hide’s jaw while a tiny smile curved his lips.

“Delicious.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Would you have let me be eaten?”
> 
> The question wasn’t the one that Hide had meant to ask but now that it was out there, Hide wanted to hear Kaneki’s answer.   
> Kaneki tilted his head to the side; just enough to give Hide a glimpse of the smile playing on his lips. 
> 
> “What do you think?” he inquired softly and Hide bit his lip before responding. 
> 
> “I think you don’t know the answer to that yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guess what's going on then come tell me in the comments!
> 
> Updating every week from now on

Hide’s bed was moving.

His bed was moving and he could taste iron in his mouth.

It wasn’t his usual way of waking up and Hide groaned as he tried to bury his face in his pillow only to have his pillow chuckle and the last time he checked pillows didn’t chuckle…but then again beds weren’t supposed to move either.

“Are you awake, Hide-kun?”

Hide forced his eyes open as the familiar voice filtered through his senses.

The first thing he saw was a shock of white hair and then he realized that he wasn’t actually in bed after all. Instead he was draped over Kaneki’s back like a child.

Now that he was awake he could feel Kaneki’s fingers pressing into his thighs and he frowned because there was no pain, he was sure that his leg should still be hurting after…

Images from earlier flashed through his head and he stiffened.

“Where are they?”

“Where’s who?” Kaneki asked, his voice almost pleasant and Hide wanted to bare his teeth at him because nothing about Kaneki was pleasant.

“The other ghouls, what did you do to them?”

Kaneki turned his head just enough to meet Hide’s eyes, “I only did what you told me to,” he responded lightly.

Hide gritted his teeth, “Why?”

“The better thing to ask would be ‘why not?’. They were going to eat you. They weren’t hungry, they’d already fed but binge eaters don’t know when to stop,” Kaneki explained and Hide frowned.

“They’re the ghouls the CCG have been looking for, weren’t they?” he asked but Kaneki just hummed in response.

“How did you know where they’d be?”

“I’ve been watching them.”

“But they’ve killed people…you could have stopped them!” Hide shouted, straightening only to freeze when Kaneki’s fingers tightened to the point of pain.

“Why would I?”

“B-because they’re people, they had families, other people who’d miss them,” Hide forced out.

“And the ghouls don’t?”

Hide shook his head again, “You could have done something, you could have…you could have called the CCG.”

“The same CCG that burned down your house? Or maybe the one that killed Hinami’s parents? Do you think they wouldn’t have killed those ghouls? Because I know you’re smarter than that.”

Hide swallowed the bile in his throat, clenching his fingers tight.

Kaneki glanced back at him again, “I’m not saying this to be cruel. Ghouls eat humans, humans try to eradicate ghouls then the CCG steps in but everyone still gets hurt,” Kaneki exhaled slowly and his grip on Hide relaxed a bit. “There’s no simple right or wrong. How can you blame a ghoul for wanting to live? Or a human who just wants to be safe? The answer is simple. You can’t.”

Hide ducked his head, ignoring the fact that the move meant his face was buried in Kaneki’s hair.

“Would you have let me be eaten?”

The question wasn’t the one that Hide had meant to ask but now that it was out there, Hide wanted to hear Kaneki’s answer.

Kaneki tilted his head to the side; just enough to give Hide a glimpse of the smile playing on his lips.

“What do you think?” he inquired softly and Hide bit his lip before responding.

“I think you don’t know the answer to that yourself.”

Kaneki huffed out a laugh but Hide noticed that he didn’t disagree and the thought made his blood run cold.

*O*

“Hide-kun.”

Hinami’s voice made Hide want to open his eyes but his body protested, rebelling against the very thought of moving and not even the feel of the girl’s tiny hand on his forehead could make his body comply.

“What the fuck did you do to him?”

Oh, that was Touka…Hide didn’t think Touka had ever been in his room…Hide didn’t even remember how _he_ had gotten into his room.

The last thing he remembered was climbing down off Kaneki’s back in front of the shop as his stomach lurched and then…then there was nothing but darkness.

“Stop it, Touka-chan!” Hinami protested and Hide could almost picture the way that she was stomping her foot. “Kaneki-kun wouldn’t hurt Hide…would you?”

There was a long moment of silence that was only broken by Kaneki’s soft voice and Hide almost flinched when a cold hand pressed against his forehead much too large to be Hinami’s and he was sure that Touka wouldn’t voluntarily touch him.

“I think something that he ate disagreed with him,” Kaneki responded and Hide’s mind hitched on that.

Something he ate? He hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and that had only been a dry toast and coffee.

He doubted that could have turned his stomach more than almost being eaten had.

“Hide-kun…”

Hinami’s voice was a high pitched whine that Hide knew well and hated because it usually meant that she was close to tears and Hinami cried so rarely that Hide couldn’t help the ache that clutched at his heart.

Frowning he forced the muscles in his face upwards until his eyes complied and opened.

“Hide-kun!” Hinami yelped as she flung herself on top of him sending Hide’s breath rushing from his lungs because for someone so small Hinami was exactly weight-less.

Hide’s eyes flickered from the top of Hinami’s head to Touka’s eyes before flickering away to focus on a spot just behind Kaneki’s head.

Touka scoffed loudly. “I’ll go tell the manager you’re finally up…guess that means you won’t be dinner,” she muttered and her usual sullenness had Hide’s lips ticking up into a small smile even as she left the room.

“I’m glad you’re okay now,” Hinami whispered and Hide raised one hand to stroke her hair when she didn’t move.

“Kaneki-kun was certain it was just something you ate,” she murmured into his shirt and the words made Hide’s gaze move to Kaneki’s face, only to find the white haired ghoul smiling at him in a way that made Hide clench his teeth in anger.

There was something in the words that didn’t sit right with…what had he eaten?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You became a monster,” Touka spat and Kaneki smirked, cocking his head to the side.
> 
> “I became exactly what you told me to that day we met. Don’t blame me for listening to your advice, Touka-chan. Blame yourself for giving it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to keep updates on a weekly basis from now on since the hiatus has started.

Kaneki stayed with Hide long after Hinami had gone to bed.

He wasn’t sure if Hide knew he was there because the other man didn’t speak to or even acknowledge his presence.

Hide’s eyes were closed and his breathing even but Kaneki could tell that he wasn’t sleeping. The tiny twitches of his fingers against the sheets gave that much away.

Stepping closer Kaneki stared down at the man.

Once Kaneki had been somewhat like Hide. He wouldn’t say just like Hide because there wasn’t anybody who was just like Hide. It was what had drawn Kaneki to him in the first place and he had no doubt that if he’d met Hide before…before he changed, that he and Hide would’ve been friends.

They’d been on the verge of being acquaintances more than once but Kaneki had always let himself fade back into the shadows before Hide could truly notice him. He regretted that now, he wished he’d know Hide for even a few days before…

Tenderly, Kaneki reached out and brushed a few strands of Hide’s hair from his face where they’d clumped together with sweat.

Hide’s eye twitched a bit but then the tension seeped from his body and Kaneki allowed himself a tiny moment to just stare at Hide’s face before he made himself walk away, shutting the door quietly behind him as he left Hide’s room.

“I don’t know what you’re doing but I know that you’re up to something.”

Touka’s familiar voice made Kaneki smile. Shaking his head Kaneki shifted his gaze from Hide’s door to where Touka was leaning against the wall of the corridor, her arms folding in front of her as she glared at him.

“Why would you think I’m up to anything, Touka-chan?” Kaneki inquired, keeping his voice soft because the last thing he wanted was to wake Hinami with another shouting match.

“I know because you left,” she hissed taking a step forward and Kaneki straightened to his full height, staring down his nose at her. “You left us to go with them.”

“You mean I left you to go with _him_ ,” Kaneki retorted, his tone still calm despite the fact that he was tired of this argument. “I did what you couldn’t to protect the people I care for.”

“You became a monster,” Touka spat and Kaneki smirked, cocking his head to the side.

“I became exactly what you told me to that day we met. Don’t blame me for listening to your advice, Touka-chan. Blame yourself for giving it.”

The words made Touka freeze, her fingers curling into fists as her jaw clenched.

“I’d never eat another ghoul,” she gritted out and Kaneki eyed her for a moment.

“But you’d kill one without a second thought and you’d eat a human without batting an eye. Doesn’t that make you just as much of a monster as I am?”

“I’m going to fucking…” Touka snarled only to be interrupted by heavy steps coming down the corridor.

Yoshimura paused and glanced between the two of them before inclining his head.

“Touka, Nishio needs your help,” he informed them and Touka hesitated for a moment, her eyes flickering back to Kaneki and he made sure to clear his expression, keeping his own face bland as her gaze scanned him for a long moment.

Finally she took a step back, “Fine,” she muttered before turning on her heels and heading down the corridor, the clink of her heels echoing behind her long after she was out of sight.

“Kaneki, come with me,” Yoshimura ordered as he turned and headed back the way he’d come.

There was little for Kaneki to do but follow.

*O*

Hide lurched out of his bed, hitting the ground on his hands and knees before scrabbling to his feet and making a break for the bathroom as bile clawed its way up his throat.

He barely made it to the toilet when his guts decided to exit via his mouth.

Gagging, he clutched at the toilet as his stomach heaved.

His head was pounding by the time he finished, his head spinning with every beat of his heart that he could feel in his temples and for a moment he let himself stay there, kneeling in front of his toilet before he shoved himself upwards and flushed the mess away.

Stumbling to the sink he splashed his face and rinsed his mouth, keeping his eyes away from the mirror because he had no desire to see what he looked like.

Using the walls as a crutch Hide stumbled back to his bed, falling face first onto the cool surface.

His room was quiet but Hide knew that Kaneki hadn’t left long ago.

He’d pretended to sleep to see what the ghoul would do and while that wasn’t his best idea, considering that he’d seen exactly what Kaneki was capable of, it hadn’t stopped his surprise when he’d managed to actually fall asleep despite Kaneki’s presence.

A tiny voice pointed out that that was probably because Hide knew that Kaneki wouldn’t try anything with Hinami so close but another much louder voice pointed out that Hide had gone alone with Kaneki that night. If Kaneki had wanted to do anything he could’ve…or he could’ve let the other ghouls do his dirty work for him and while Hide still wasn’t sure _why_ Kaneki had rescued him, even if he had been the one to place Hide in the situation in the first place, he couldn’t help the part of him that wished Kaneki hadn’t saved him.

Burying his face in his pillow, Hide held his breath as he stretched his leg but when the pain from before didn’t return he lifted his head and glanced down at the limb in confusion. He’d thought that the adrenaline had been the only reason why he hadn’t been in pain before but now with nothing but lethargy for company Hide couldn’t explain away the absence of his discomfort so easily.

*O*

Kaneki watched Yoshimura pour two cups of coffee.

The man’s actions were slow and methodical, tranquil in a way that had the tension bleeding from Kaneki’s muscles as he settled into his seat.

“I’ve already told you my story and the consequences that came from my actions,” Yoshimura murmured as he carried the cups over to the table, placing one in front of Kaneki. “Your story is your own to make and do with what you will but there will be consequences,” he added on and Kaneki nodded his thanks for the drink before raising his cup to his lips.

The bitter liquid caressed his throat as it slid down and Kaneki marvelled at the fact that this was one of the only things from his old life that he could still have without his body rebelling.

Placing the cup on the table he turned his attention back to Yoshimura.

“You’re talking about Hide,” he guessed and Yoshimura cocked his head, meeting his gaze steadily.

“Young Hideyoshi is someone who I worry about. When Hinami brought him to us I wasn’t sure that he would survive the tragedy that he’d been touched by.”

Kaneki narrowed his eyes at that, “I thought he was unharmed.”

“Physically, he wasn’t,” Yoshimura agreed with a small smile. “Mentally…that is yet to be seen,” he paused here and stared at Kaneki. “Be careful how hard you push Kaneki, humans are much more fragile than ghouls.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t seem fragile,” Kaneki commented and Hide’s brows pulled up into a frown at the non-sequitur.
> 
> “Thanks, I guess?” he responded after a long moment of heavy silence and Kaneki shrugged.
> 
> Hide wasn’t sure if the man’s words had been a compliment or an insult but Kaneki didn’t seem willing to enlighten him so he returned to his task just as the bell to the shop chimed.
> 
> “I know that it has been so long, my darlings but finally I have returned!”

Hide wasn’t sure what to make of Kaneki’s new behaviour. It wasn’t that the ghoul was doing anything wrong but that in and of itself was highly suspicious.

What Hide couldn’t ignore was the fact that Kaneki was watching him and he wasn’t even making an effort to hide it.

After that night Kaneki had taken care not to approach Hide in any way that could be seen as threatening. He was polite to a fault and Hide had noticed the way that several of their regulars had started to warmup to the one-eyed ghoul.

Touka wasn’t one of them.

“I wish he’d just leave already,” she sighed as she wiped down the counter and Hide kept his head down, pretending not hear her because he still wasn’t Touka’s favourite person and while being ignored wasn’t something that he liked, he’d take it over being a persona non-grata any day.

“Leave the man alone,” Nishio sighed. “He’s not doing anything to you.”

Hide wasn’t sure of it but he thought that Kaneki had probably been friends with Nishio. He’d seen the two talking several times without any hint of aggression which would explain why Nishio was willing to go up against Touka instead of just ignoring everything like he usually did.

“Who was talking to you, stupid glasses?” Touka spat and Hide polished his cups even harder at Nishio’s squawk of displeasure.

“The hell did you just say about my glasses?”

“You heard me!” Touka lobbed back and Hide couldn’t exactly hide the way that his shoulders were shaking with laughter.

Laughter that died the second that he glanced up and met Kaneki’s eye over the top of the book the man was reading.

Kaneki’s gaze flickered from Hide’s face to where Touka and Nishio were arguing before returning to Hide and lingering.

Hide shivered …it was almost as if he could feel Kaneki touching him and he forced himself to not glance away until Kaneki inclined his head with a small smile like Hide had passed some test that he’d set and he was proud of him for it.

The thought made Hide’s fingers tighten around the cup that he’d almost forgotten he was still holding.

Dropping his gaze from Kaneki’s he forced himself to breathe slowly so that he could calm the thundering beat of his heart.

Kaneki wouldn’t be here forever and soon he’d lose interest in Hide, he was sure of it.

“If you frown all the time, your face will get stuck like that.”

Kaneki’s voice was light and airy and from the chatter still going on behind him neither Touka nor Nishio had noticed his presence yet.

Hide rubbed the cup harder, keeping his eyes focused on the painted porcelain.

“It’s not like I was getting anywhere based on my looks alone,” he responded, keeping his voice just as light as Kaneki’s despite the fact that his heart was beating just a little bit harder and the sweat on his skin was cooling in a way that had goosebumps flaring to life on the back of his neck.

Kaneki hummed and this time Hide allowed himself a glance at the ghoul, only to find Kaneki’s eye glued to his face with an intensity that had something unpleasant curling in the pit of his gut.

“You don’t seem fragile,” Kaneki commented and Hide’s brows pulled up into a frown at the non-sequitur.

“Thanks, I guess?” he responded after a long moment of heavy silence and Kaneki shrugged.

Hide wasn’t sure if the man’s words had been a compliment or an insult but Kaneki didn’t seem willing to enlighten him so he returned to his task just as the bell to the shop chimed.

“I know that it has been so long, my darlings but finally I have returned!”

Hide could feel his left eye twitching as Tsukiyama’s voice rang through the mostly empty shop.

Touka and Nishio had reported back that when they left Shuu they hadn’t expected him to survive…obviously they’d been wrong because here was in all his flamboyant glory like Hide didn’t have enough problems dealing with Kaneki’s presence.

Glancing up Hide sighed when he found Touka glaring at the ghoul.

“I thought I told you to never come back here, filth!” she spat as she tried to scramble past Nishio to get at Tsukiyama.

The gourmet pouted at her, “What you actually said was that I’d have to eat myself to survive…which I did and now here I am, returned from the dead so as not to deprive you all of my presence and not a second too soon,” he grinned his eyes roving to where Hide was standing. “I see that you’ve even prepared me a meal,” he purred.

“If you even think…!” Nishio growled.

“I’ll show you a damn meal….!” Touka snarled.

Hide watched them both half-heartedly because he knew that Tsukiyama wasn’t foolish enough to attack anyone while the manager was in the shop.

The crack of bones brought Hide’s attention back to Kaneki who’d straightened from where he’d been slouched against the counter.

“I’d appreciate it if you kept such comments to yourself,” Kaneki murmured, his voice at odds with the look in his eye.

“Oh?” Tsukiyama responded, “And why should I?” he asked taking a step closer then suddenly he was in front of Hide, his cold fingers warping around his wrist. “After all what good are humans if not to…”

Tsukiyama’s words came to an abrupt halt as Kaneki’s kagune wrapped around his neck.

“I was having a good day. I don’t have those much and lately my good days only happen when Hide is having a good day. He doesn’t have those often, I think it might be my fault, I…I’m a bit fucked up,” Kaneki grinned…or not a grin, Hide noted it was more of a baring of his teeth. “I don’t like being impolite to strangers but I’m going to ask again…” the kagune tightened and Hide noted the way that Tsukiyama’s face was turning red. “Keep your words…” another tentacle slithered from behind Kaneki to curl around Tsukiyama’s wrist, prying away his hold on Hide. “And your hands to yourself.”

The silence in the shop stretched on as Tsukiyama stared at Kaneki and no one but Kaneki and Hide seemed to notice that kagune that slithered between the fingers of Hide’s hidden hand, prying them away from the knife that Hide had exchanged the cup for.

Tsukiyama took a step back and Kaneki’s gaze flickered to Hide’s face and for a moment Hide was almost certain that he’d seen a look of pride in Kaneki’s eye.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It isn’t much of a sanctuary when someone can just walk inside and threaten someone, is it?” he inquired softly and Hide hesitated before he took a step and then another until he could wrap his fingers around the metal bars of the railings.
> 
> “You saved me back there…why did you do it?” he asked, keeping his tone just as soft.
> 
> Kaneki turned his head and Hide met his eye steadily, never once letting his gaze waver because he could still feel Kaneki’s kagune wrapping around his fingers, deceptively gentle despite the grip they’d had on Tsukiyama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit late, sorry!

“He almost exposed us! What would've happened if a human had walked in? Or a Dove? He didn’t even care!”

Touka’s voice was loud even as Hide stepped outside, exhaling in the cool night.

They’d been at this for over an hour with no sign of stopping ever since Yoshimura had broken up the impending fight between Kaneki and Tsukiyama.

“This is supposed to be a sanctuary!” Touka shouted and Hide’s eyes flickered to Kaneki’s bowed head.

The ghoul was seated on the edge of the balcony, his long legs dangling as he stared out at the night.

“It isn’t much of a sanctuary when someone can just walk inside and threaten someone, is it?” he inquired softly and Hide hesitated before he took a step and then another until he could wrap his fingers around the metal bars of the railings.

“You saved me back there…why did you do it?” he asked, keeping his tone just as soft.

Kaneki turned his head and Hide met his eye steadily, never once letting his gaze waver because he could still feel Kaneki’s kagune wrapping around his fingers, deceptively gentle despite the grip they’d had on Tsukiyama.

“I told you, you’re interesting,” the white haired man responded after a long moment of silence but Hide just shook his head because that wasn’t right.

“You said I _smelled_ interesting, you didn’t say that I _was_ interesting,” he corrected but Kaneki just snorted, leaning back as he used his arms to keep him from tumbling either back onto the balcony or of it into the streets below and Hide wondered if becoming a ghoul meant losing every sense of fear you had…but that wasn’t right either because he’d seen ghouls scared, he’d seen Hinami scared.

“Smells interesting, are interesting, there’s not really much of a difference between the two,” Kaneki responded, kicking his legs a beat faster. “If you’d met me before I wouldn’t have said either but now? Now I can say what I want, do what I want because no one can stop me.”

Hide bit his lip as he pillowed his head against his arms, “You keep saying before but…does it mean I can ask you what happened?”

Kaneki’s head snapped around so fast the Hide was sure that he’d snapped something in his neck.

“Do you actually want to know or is this some sort of payback for what happened down there?”

Hide shrugged as best he could, “I don’t like you…” he started before shaking his head because that wasn’t right either, his tongue curled around the words but they didn’t sit right. “I’m…you scare me,” he nodded to himself, keeping his eyes on the lights below them because that was better. “You scare me. I don’t know if you’re going to attack me when my back’s turned but that’s better than before…I didn’t care before. I think I didn’t want to live before but you…” he paused again, trying to scrape the words into something that made sense. “I didn’t want to live except for Hinami until I met you. I’ve always been scared of getting eaten because it’s something that I knew could happen but after my parents…if I died I wouldn’t be sad…”

“I think I would be,” Kaneki whispered and Hide glanced at him but Kaneki was staring up at the night sky. “I think I’d be very sad if you died but I don’t know why.”

Hide laughed, more to himself than anything. “I think you’re confusing sadness with boredom, Kaneki-sama,” he muttered, watching the way that Kaneki’s lips curled into a slow smile.

“I was almost eaten…”

The words were soft but Hide didn’t react to them, instead he waited because he could almost feel Kaneki’s tension thrumming through the metal bars that connected the two of them as the argument continued to rage behind them.

“I was on a date and she wasn’t who I thought she was,” he chuckled, fingers clenching even harder around the metal. “I’d never been so scared in my life. I was going to die there, all because I hadn’t wanted to be lonely but I didn’t die. I lived and they put a piece of her in me so that I’d survive. She’d been trying to kill me and suddenly she was the only thing keeping me alive,” he sighed, glancing at the lights below them again and Hide’s heart felt like it was trying to escape his chest because he’d never heard this part of the story before. “I wanted to dig her out, to just open up my own body and tear out all the pieces of her that was changing me into this _thing_ but I couldn’t and Yoshimura helped me to accept what had happened and then he came for me…”

“He?” Hide asked despite himself and Kaneki’s lips pulled up into a snarl.

“Jason,” he spat, the sound warped with rage hidden just beneath surface of Kaneki’s breath. “He broke my mind…I’m sane enough to know that now and in return I ate him.”

Hide gritted his teeth because there was so much he could say but none of it felt like enough. “Did it make you feel better?” he finally settled on and Kaneki snorted.

“It made me less hungry,” he responded with a tiny grin. “Ghouls don’t like cannibals but am I cannibal if I’m only part ghoul? Wouldn’t I be a cannibal either way even if I chose to eat only humans?”

“Is that the only reason why you eat them?” Hide inquired softly and Kaneki turned his head to meet his eyes.

“No, eating another ghoul… it makes me stronger and if I’m strong enough then I can protect the people I couldn’t protect before,” Kaneki explained.

Hide nodded as he glanced back out at the city because if given the chance he probably would’ve done the same to save Hinami any more heartache.

“Do you think I’m cruel, Hide-kun?” Kaneki whispered and Hide glanced at him.

“I think you can be,” he responded truthfully and as he watched Kaneki’s shirt moved, a single kagune slipping from beneath it.

Hide held himself completely still as it reached towards him because he knew that he couldn’t move faster than Kaneki could despite the urge from his jackhammering heart.

“I can be,” Kaneki confirmed, his eyes glued to Hide’s face as the kagune rose and slithered across Hide’s cheek.

Hide shivered at the touch, it was warmer than he’d remembered and even softer.

“I can be cruel but I don’t want to be cruel to you,” Kaneki confessed and Hide stared at him for a long moment before raising his own hand.

His brain screamed at him as he curled his fingers around the kagune but the way that Kaneki was watching him made him keep going.

The kagune twined through his fingers, mimicking the tangle of another person’s hands for a second before it vanished.

“I don’t want to be cruel to you,” Kaneki repeated and Hide wasn’t sure if it was a promise or a threat.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s so good,” Hide murmured around his mouthful and Kaneki had to clench his fingers into fists to keep his kagune beneath his skin as he watched Hide devour his meal. 
> 
> “I’m glad you like it,” he whispered. “I’ll be sure to make you some more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay but last week was my birthday so I took the week off.

Kaneki slid into the seat across from Hide, noting the way that the other man’s heart kicked up a beat when he realized who was sitting across from him but Hide’s face didn’t betray any of his apprehension.

After that night on the balcony Hide’s face didn’t seem to show much of anything when he was in Kaneki’s presence but his body was much harder to fool.

“Homework?” Kaneki asked in lieu of a greeting and Hide nodded, his fingers tightening around his pencil before he consciously made himself relax.

Kaneki watched all of this, almost absentmindedly, cataloguing each new clue to Hide’s psyche that he could because every new bit of information learned made Hide even more interesting.

“I fell behind when I didn’t go to classes and know I’ve got all of this…” Hide grimaced as he gestured to the sheets of paper spread out on the table in front of him. “…to catch up on.”

Kaneki hummed beneath his breath as he reached into his bag for his own book and the container of food that he’d brought with him.

“Haven’t they given you an extension?” he inquired lightly because he would think that the death of your parents and destruction of the very foundation you built your beliefs on was reason enough for a few more weeks of time.

Hide pursed his lips before shrugging, “I didn’t tell my lecturers about it,” he admitted and Kaneki’s eyebrows hiked.

“And they didn’t think it was strange for you to just miss your classes? You never missed a single class before,” he pointed out and Hide’s head snapped up, blue eyes flickering over Kaneki’s face.

“How do you know that?” Hide asked and this time Kaneki was the one who shrugged.

“I told you…I noticed you,” he responded lightly before pushing the container across the table, taking care not to disrupt the organized chaos that Hide had constructed around him. “This is yours,” he informed Hide, eyeing the way that the other man was staring at the container with amusement. “It won’t bite,” he chuckled and Hide’s gaze flickered from the container to Kaneki’s face.

“What’s in it?” Hide asked and Kaneki met his eyes for a moment before refocusing on the books in his hands.

“Food, an apology, it’s whatever you want it to be,” he responded finally and out of the corner of his eye he watched Hide bite his lip before reaching out towards the container, his hand freezing in mid-air when Kaneki turned the page of his book before poking at the container.

“Did you make it?” Hide frowned as he picked the container up and Kaneki hummed again, keeping his eyes on his book even when he heard the click that signalled that Hide had opened the dish.

“It smells so good,” Hide groaned and Kaneki let his lips curl into a real smile.

“I _was_ human once. I do actually remember what you eat,” he offered up but Hide was too busy digging into the meal to respond to him and Kaneki watched him surreptitiously, his own tongue flickering out to wet his lips as Hide bit into the pieces of meat. “Do you like it?” he asked and Hide nodded even as he groaned in delight.

“It’s so good,” Hide murmured around his mouthful and Kaneki had to clench his fingers into fists to keep his kagune beneath his skin as he watched Hide devour his meal.

“I’m glad you like it,” he whispered. “I’ll be sure to make you some more.”

*O*

If someone had asked Hideyoshi a few weeks ago if he’d ever be comfortable enough to laugh in Kaneki’s presence he would have called them crazy but now here he was laughing like a loon while Kaneki grinned at him.

“You’re lying…that can’t be true,” he choked out but Kaneki just sniffed as if he was offended.

“He did, ask him the next time you see him. He even told me I was on his territory; it was very scary up until the moment that Touka decided to wipe the floor with him.”

“Oh, Kami-sama,” Hide snickered, rubbing at the tears streaming down his face. “I know Nishio was a bit of a jerk but I can’t believe he tried to scare you off like that.”

Kaneki just shrugged, “He was right, I was in his territory and for a ghoul like Nishio, territory was important enough to fight for.”

“Do all ghouls have territory? I mean the ones who come to Anteiku don’t seem to be bothered about the others,” Hide inquired and Kaneki cocked his head as if considering the question.

“I’m not sure,” he responded finally, glancing down at his hands as he pressed them against the table-top, splaying his fingers wide. “I’ve always felt connected to this ward but I think that’s because there are people here who I want to protect.”

“Like Hinami?” Hide guessed and Kaneki smiled, the expression a soft thing that made him seem years younger and Hide blushed when he realised that he was staring at Kaneki’s mouth, dropping his gaze to his own hands where they were folded in his lap.

“Like Hinami,” Kaneki confirmed, “And everyone else who works at Anteiku and the others like Uta-san, who helped me when they didn’t have to.”

“Uta-san?” Hide inquired because that was a new name…at least new to him.

Kaneki nodded, steepling his fingers together. “He’s the one who makes our masks. I’d have thought you’d have met him before.”

Hide shrugged, it wasn’t like anyone was going to be quick to tell him about the inner workings of the ghoul society after all he was only a human. Most of what he knew he’d learned from Hinami or on his own.

“I don’t need a mask so I guess I don’t need to know him,” he muttered and he could feel Kaneki staring at him. “I’m not a ghoul, after all.”

Kaneki was silent for a long moment before he straightened in his seat. “The class this morning, was it your only one for today?” he asked and Hide nodded. “Good, get your things,” he ordered.

“What, why?” Hide spluttered, grabbing at the papers Kaneki was shoving towards him.

“We’re going on a trip,” Kaneki informed him with a smile. “After all, ghouls aren’t the only ones who need masks,” he added and Hide stared up at him for a moment before returning the grin.

“My shift starts at seven,” he reminded Kaneki but the other ghoul just shrugged.

“It won’t take that long and don’t worry…I’ll keep you safe,” he responded.

Hide bit his lip, his fingers hesitating over a sheet of paper. “Is it stupid that I sort of believe you?”

Kaneki just grinned at him but didn’t actually respond.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What did you think of Uta-san?” Kaneki inquired softly and Hide glanced over at him but the ghoul was staring straight ahead.
> 
> Shrugging Hide bit his lip, “He was nice? He seemed nice…” he started.
> 
> “But?” Kaneki prodded and Hide shrugged again.
> 
> “I felt like he was hiding something,” he responded truthfully, shivering lightly as he remembered the way that Uta’s eyes had tracked him even while he worked. It wasn’t the way that Tsukiyama or even Kaneki looked at him. It had felt like Uta was taking him apart with his eyes, turning over every fragment of his being until he figured out how Hide was put together and it left a nasty taste in Hide’s mouth.

Hide stayed behind Kaneki as they entered the shop.

Mannequins were dotted throughout the small space, some of them blank, others adorned with masks that Hide recognized from the news reports. They weren’t the same as the ones the ghouls had been wearing when they confronted the CCG but there was something familiar in each one, an underlying thread that seemed to connect them to each other.

Pausing at one that sported six eye slots, three on each side, Hide squinted.

“Do they all mean something?” he called back to Kaneki.

“What do you think?” an unfamiliar voice responded and Hide flinched backwards away from the speaker, only to slam into Kaneki, who steadied him with both hands on his shoulders, as he focused on the strange ghoul staring at him, noting the kakugan in both of the man’s eyes.

The ghoul’s nostrils flared for a moment before he straightened from his slouch.

“You didn’t tell me that you’d be visiting, Kaneki,” he whispered, turning his back on them, “And bringing a human as well. Is there something you want to tell me? Perhaps you need a new mask?”

Kaneki shook his head, his fingers still on Hide’s shoulders. “My mask is perfect, Uta-san. We’re here for Hide,” he responded and Hide tried to not shrink back against Kaneki’s body as the ghoul stared at him again.

Despite the blank expression on Uta’s face there was a glint in his eye that made Hide feel uneasy, then Uta blinked and it was gone.

“A mask for a human? But not just any human, is he?” the ghoul muttered as he turned and headed back their way, pausing only feet away as he inhaled. “Such an interesting human,” he noted and Hide met his eyes without flinching this time because there was a question in his voice and Hide wasn’t sure how to answer it. “Why would a human need a mask?” Uta inquired softly and Kaneki’s fingers tightened on Hide’s shoulders.

“I work at Anteiku,” he responded, gauging Uta’s reaction but the ghoul merely stared at him. “If something happens, I want to help but I don’t want anyone else to get hurt just because of me.”

“So you want a mask to hide your face from ghouls that might attack?” Uta asked.

Hide shook his head, “Not just ghouls,” he whispered, his eyes darting away from Uta’s face as the feeling of flames licking at his skin crawled up his spine and for a second he could hear his mother and father screaming as the blaze consumed his house because he hadn’t been fast enough or strong enough to stop _them_.

Swallowing he met Uta’s gaze again. “Not just to hide from ghouls…for the CCG as well.”

Uta’s eyes widened, darting to Kaneki’s face once and whatever he saw there made him nod as he stepped back and rolled his shoulders.

“A human who wants to hide from the CCG? You’re more interesting than I first thought…” he trailed off and Hide blinked before he realized what Uta was waiting for.

“Hideyoshi, my name is Hideyoshi,” he informed the man and Uta nodded before gesturing to an empty stool.

“Sit down and we’ll see about making your mask,” he murmured and Hide stepped forward, shooting Kaneki a questioning glance but the younger ghoul was staring at Uta speculatively. “And to answer your question, yes, the masks all mean something. It’s up to you to figure out what,” Uta added.

*O*

Hide clutched the small parcel in his hands tightly.

He’d wanted to see what the mask looked like but Uta had told him to wait until he was alone.

It had been enough of a surprise that the man had made them stay until he finished the mask but apparently Uta hadn’t been expecting any other customers.

“What do you think it’ll look like?” Hide asked Kaneki and the ghoul’s lips ticked up into a small smile.

Hide wasn’t sure if that was because he was asking the question for the tenth time or because Kaneki just found him amusing…either way Hide didn’t honestly care because for the first time he felt like he was truly becoming part of Hinami’s world, like he could give her something other than just his presence and that was enough for him.

“What did you think of Uta-san?” Kaneki inquired softly and Hide glanced over at him but the ghoul was staring straight ahead.

Shrugging Hide bit his lip, “He was nice? He seemed nice…” he started.

“But?” Kaneki prodded and Hide shrugged again.

“I felt like he was hiding something,” he responded truthfully, shivering lightly as he remembered the way that Uta’s eyes had tracked him even while he worked. It wasn’t the way that Tsukiyama or even Kaneki looked at him. It had felt like Uta was taking him apart with his eyes, turning over every fragment of his being until he figured out how Hide was put together and it left a nasty taste in Hide’s mouth.

“Uta-san is always hiding something but he builds us masks that _we_ hide behind so calling him on that would probably be hypocritical,” Kaneki mused and Hide nodded because that made sense.

Turning the package over in his hands, Hide glanced at Kaneki again, “Thank you for bringing me with you,” he muttered and Kaneki’s lips ticked up into a tiny smirk.

“You needed it. What you said to Uta-san was right. If the CCG or the ghouls that come after you can’t get to you they’ll go after someone close to you,” Kaneki noted solemnly and when Hide’s gaze flickered to the ghoul’s face he found Kaneki staring at him. “It’s why I wear my mask…”

“To protect the people at Anteiku,” Hide guessed and Kaneki’s smile widened as he reached out and flicked a piece of hair out of Hide’s face, his fingers lingering just above Hide’s brow for a second.

“To protect those important to me,” Kaneki confirmed. “I wouldn’t want to see what would happen if someone I cared about got hurt.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You remind me so much of someone I knew a long time ago,” the man mused but Kaneki wasn’t going to be distracted.
> 
> “Do you have a plan for dealing with the doves?” he demanded, his eyes narrowing as Yoshimura smiled…there was something so tired in the expression and it had a cold ball settling in the pit of Kaneki’s stomach.

Kaneki settled himself at the table across from Yoshimura, meeting the older ghoul’s eyes steadily.

“You brought Hideyoshi to see Uta,” Yoshimura noted and Kaneki nodded because there was no reason to hide that. “Why?” Yoshimura inquired.

Kaneki twisted the cup in his hands, staring at the dark liquid. The light from the street lamps caught on the surface of his coffee and for a moment it glittered like blood but the illusion vanished almost as quickly as it had come.

“He needs protection,” he responded finally, taking a sip of the hot drink while Yoshimura stared at him.

“And you believe that a mask will protect him?” the older man inquired and Kaneki shrugged.

“I _believe_ that you’re deliberately ignoring the vultures circling your door,” he responded glibly, noting the way that Yoshimura’s finger clenched around his own cup before he forced himself to relax and Kaneki let his lips quirk up into an amused smile. Maybe Yoshimura wasn’t as ignorant of what was coming as he pretended to be.

“Hide deserves the same level of protection that we all have. If they see his face, he’s marked. As long as they don’t know who he is, he’ll be safe.”

Yoshimura cocked his head at that, “If there are vultures at my door, don’t you think that they’ve already been inside?” he queried and this time Kaneki was the one who had to force himself to not tense and give his feelings away.

“He’s human, he shouldn’t be important to them,” he replied.

“He’s important to you, that might be enough,” the older ghoul retorted and Kaneki exhaled through his nose, focusing on the heat beneath his hands to keep himself calm.

“I didn’t come here for him, they would know that,” he pointed out.

“But would they care?” Yoshimura shot back. “If he was a way to control you, do you really think they’d care about anything else?”

“He’s not a bargaining chip. His importance doesn’t change anything else,” Kaneki spat and Yoshimura leaned back in his seat, fingers clasped together on his lap as he stared at him.

“You remind me so much of someone I knew a long time ago,” the man mused but Kaneki wasn’t going to be distracted.

“Do you have a plan for dealing with the doves?” he demanded, his eyes narrowing as Yoshimura smiled…there was something so tired in the expression and it had a cold ball settling in the pit of Kaneki’s stomach.

“I’m going to send away all those who I can protect,” Yoshimura responded, his eyes still pleasant and Kaneki gritted his teeth.

“That’s it? You’re going to die here?” he demanded, slamming his cup against the table. Some of the coffee sloshed over the rim, splattering his fingers but he didn’t even notice it. “If Anteiku falls, do you know what’s coming? What you’d let happen?”

Yoshimura pursed his lips, reaching for a napkin and Kaneki glowered at him as the man moped up the spilled liquid before binning the sodden sheet.

“This is a battle I lost a long time ago…when I lost the two people I loved,” Yoshimura whispered. “For all the things I did before then, this is my penance.”

Kaneki inhaled and exhaled, once then again, focusing on the feel of the air escaping his lungs and not on the bile clawing at his throat at the thought of Yoshimura giving up.

“Who did I remind you of?” he asked finally and Yoshimura smiled.

“Myself…a long, long time ago.”

*O*

Hide pursed his lips as another human entered the shop, at least Hide assumed she were human because the woman had ordered several sandwiches to go with her coffee.

Pasting on a pleasant smile Hide nodded to her before heading back to the counter where Nishio was cleaning the countertop.

“Did something happen that I don’t know about? I mean this is the seventh person who’s actually ordered…” he trailed off, flapping his hand in the direction of the door.

“Food?” Nishio guessed with a frown and Hide nodded. “It’s freaky, we’ve had to send Hinami out to get groceries. We’ve never had this many in here before,” the man added and Hide felt something warm curl in his chest at the fact that Nishio hadn’t automatically grouped him with the other humans despite the fact that a few months ago Nishio would have done exactly that.

“Did Yoshimura-san say anything about all of this?” he asked.

Nishio shook his head, “Nah, maybe some other coffee shop shut down. The best we can do is feed them and make sure that they leave quickly.”

Hide nodded in understanding, “At least we don’t have to worry about Tsukiyama barging in,” he noted and Nishio frowned at him.

“Why not? The bastard’s always showing up where he’s not wanted.”

Hide just grinned and pointed to the shop window where Kaneki was visible sitting at one of the tables they’d left out on the sidewalk because of the crowd.

Nishio’s brow hiked towards his hair. “What’s he doing out there?”

Hide ducked his head, “I asked him to lookout for anyone who’d cause trouble.”

“And he did it?” Nishio squawked, eyeing Hide suspiciously. “Are you two…” he trailed off, making a crude gesture with his hands and Hide could feel himself turning red.

“What?” he spluttered, grabbing another cup of coffee so that he was doing something that didn’t require looking at Nishio. “No we’re not, I’m just giving him coffee, none of...we’re not like that. It’s we’re just friends…at least, I think we’re friends.”

“The lady doth protest too much.”

The familiar voice so close made Hide freeze and he didn’t turn even as a hand reached past him for the cup that he was clutching like a lifeline while Kaneki pressed against him.

“I think this is mine?” he queried and Hide nodded, not moving an inch until the heat of Kaneki’s body vanished from behind him.

Nishio reached out and poked him on the cheek. “You look like one of those tomatoes that we keep in the back,” he informed Hide gleefully.

“Shut up,” Hide hissed, glancing over his shoulder only to find that Kaneki was once again reading. “I was just startled, he’s quiet on his feet,” he added, ignoring the leer that Nishio shot his way.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide was curled on his side, his hand resting just in front of his face and his blond hair spread out like a halo. His shirt had bunched up exposing his stomach and Kaneki could smell the tanginess of the sweat on his skin.
> 
> Kaneki blinked and the image of Hide morphed, gaping wounds replacing the unbroken fragility of his skin, blood smearing his lips and his fingertips…it made something dark curl in Kaneki’s stomach but he shook his head and the image dissolved slipping back into the abyss of his mind as easily as it had come.

Hide’s stomach hurt…that was actually a bit of an understatement considering the fact that Hide was fairly certain that his stomach was committing what amounted to internal mutiny.

Hinami had taken one look at him and demanded that he stay in bed and Hide had complied because he didn’t have much of a choice. He’d tried getting up twice and he had the bruise on his forehead to prove it.

So far all he’d managed was to curl into a ball under the sheets while he prayed for a quick death but even that hadn’t been escape enough because the cloth had stuck to his sweaty skin after a few minutes and he’d kicked them off, leaving them in a bundle on the floor.

“Did you try the tea, Hide-kun?”

Hinami’s voice made Hide open his eyes and he offered up a weak grin when she pressed her hand to his forehead. The cool touch of her skin made him jerk away from the contact and Hinami’s lower lip trembled for a moment before she sniffed and set her shoulders.

“I think you should see a doctor,” she informed him but Hide just shook his head.

“I can’t afford a doctor,” he croaked as he tried to push himself upwards but Hinami’s small hands on his shoulders had him stilling. “I have to go to work, Hinami-chan,” he reminded her but Hinami just scowled at him.

“No you don’t, Yoshimura-san said that Touka-chan will cover for you. You’re supposed to stay in bed. Yoshimura-san said that humans get sick sometimes and it’s usually not anything to worry about but…” Hinami trailed off as she bit her lip. “I’m worried about you anyway,” she finally admitted and Hide’s heart clenched in his chest at the look on her face.

Reaching out a hand, he watched her watch him, like she wasn’t sure what he was going to do.

“Come here,” Hide beckoned and Hinami finally took his hand, curling her fingers around his and allowing him to tug her closer to her bed. “Have I told you that you’re the best little sister that I could hope for?” he whispered, swallowing hard as bile tried to climb its way up his throat. His stomach didn’t have anything left to expel so he knew that he didn’t have to flee to the bathroom and in a few seconds the feeling passed leaving him with only the searing pain in his lower abdomen.

Hinami shook her head as she perched on the edge of his bed and it took Hide a second to realize that she was responding to his question.

“Well you are. Only the best little sister would worry about me like you do and it’s a good thing that you can’t get sick because I would just sit by your bedside looking sad until you got better and you know how awful I look when I’m sad,” he offered up and Hinami ducked her head as her lips pulled up into a small smile.

“You make funny faces when you’re sad,” she admitted and Hide forced himself to return her smile.

“Yoshimura-san was right. Sometimes humans get sick but we usually get better and I’m sure this is nothing. So I don’t want you to worry. Go help Touka-chan, I’ve got the tea you made and later you can come and read to me, alright?”

Hinami stared at him for a long moment before she nodded and Hide smiled at her, this time the expression was much more genuine as he settled back against his pillow.

“I’m going to have a nap now, I think,” he whispered and he didn’t have the chance to hear Hinami’s response before the darkness rushed in.

*O*

Kaneki pushed the door to Hide’s room open, his eyes scanning the tidy space before he used his heel to close it behind him.

He’d heard of Hide’s illness from Hinami and he’d barely managed to keep the smirk off his face until the younger ghoul left, after he’d promised to check in on Hide for her.

Hinami didn’t need to know that Kaneki had meant to check on Hide even without her prompting.

Balancing the bowl in one hand Kaneki used the other to open the door to Hide’s room, pausing just inside.

Hide was curled on his side, his hand resting just in front of his face and his blond hair spread out like a halo. His shirt had bunched up exposing his stomach and Kaneki could smell the tanginess of the sweat on his skin.

Kaneki blinked and the image of Hide morphed, gaping wounds replacing the unbroken fragility of his skin, blood smearing his lips and his fingertips…it made something dark curl in Kaneki’s stomach but he shook his head and the image dissolved slipping back into the abyss of his mind as easily as it had come.

Taking another step forward Kaneki stilled, his eyes falling on the mask peeking out from beneath Hide’s pillow.

All he could make out from where he stood was the edge of a gaping maw surrounded by raised protrusions that Kaneki was almost certain were supposed to symbolize the legs of an insect…maybe a centipede. Apparently Uta wasn’t going to play dumb about Hide and that was all good and well as long as the other ghoul didn’t break his silence, Kaneki didn’t care what he thought he knew.

The thought made him snort and Hide’s fingers twitched a second before his eyes opened.

“Kaneki?” he whispered and Kaneki schooled his expression into something more _welcoming_ as he stepped up to the bed.

“Hinami-chan told me you weren’t well,” he offered up and Hide nodded, his nostrils flaring as he focused on the bowl in Kaneki’s hands.

“I haven’t been able to eat anything,” Hide told him and Kaneki’s smile was sympathetic as he perched on the edge of Hide’s bed.

“At least try this, my mom used to make it for me whenever I was ill and it always worked,” Kaneki responded, watching as Hide’s fingers twitched while he bit his lip, his gaze flickering to Kaneki’s before returning to the bowl.

“I can…maybe just a spoonful?” Hide queried as he sat up and Kaneki nodded, handing the bowl to him and watching keenly as Hide took a spoonful and then another…and another.

“See, I told you it was good,” Kaneki grinned and Hide nodded.

“What’s in this?” Hide queried.

Kaneki’s lips quirked into a smirk, “Family secret, you could say we put a lot of ourselves in our cooking,” he responded but Hide was too taken up by his meal to respond and that was fine with Kaneki.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But Kaneki sees only you,” Yoshimura guessed and Hide nodded.
> 
> “It’s selfish and I hate the part of me that likes it, likes the fact that he’d kill for me…that I’d want him to,” Hide whispered.
> 
> “Love is often a little selfish, the type of love that we ghouls share is sometimes even more so,” Yoshimura noted and Hide didn’t know if he was imagining the tenderness in the man’s voice.
> 
> “I’ve never been selfish before,” Hide snorted as he glanced up at Yoshimura, who was watching him patiently. “I think I like it a bit too much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay but I wanted to finish the story before I started posting again so there wouldn't be anymore delays and as of yesterday that's what's happened. 
> 
> I really wanted to respond to all the comments but there were so many speculations and I don't want to give anything away but you guys have made my day with all your theories and comments so thank you!

Hide watched as Yoshimura set a cup of coffee in front of him before taking another for himself. He wasn’t sure why he’d been called to the Manager’s rooms but he figured it had something to do with all the sick days he’d taken…two weeks’ worth.

It was a good thing that Kaneki didn’t seem to mind having to care and cook for him because Hide was pretty sure that Touka would have killed him herself if the duty had fallen to her.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been well,” Hide started as he stared at the cup, turning it around in his hands as he tried to soak up the warmth from the ceramic surface. He was finding it harder and harder to stay warm nowadays but he guessed it wasn’t out of the ordinary…especially with his illness. “It’s probably really annoying to everyone…seeing as you don’t get sick,” he offered up but Yoshimura merely waved him off.

“Human viruses don’t do much to a ghoul’s body but we can fall victim to other things,” the man responded.

Hide bit his lip to hold back the question that was immediately on his tongue because Yoshimura hadn’t called him up there for an interrogation.

The older man smiled like he knew exactly what Hide was doing and Hide couldn’t help the flush that crawled across his face.

“I’ve heard that Kaneki has been caring for you?” Yoshimura prompted and Hide nodded, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips as he raised his cup to take a sip of his coffee.

“He’s been helpful,” he admitted.

Yoshimura nodded, “I’m not surprised, you hold an important position in his life.”

Hide gaped at that, “I don’t…I mean, we’re not.”

The smile that Yoshimura shot his way was knowing and Hide’s face felt like it was on fire.

“Perhaps not yet but Kaneki has made his intentions clear to anyone who has the ability to read him and thankfully I’m one of those people,” the manager rebutted and Hide bit his lip as he ducked his head unable to find the words to contradict the man’s view while his mind was flooded with all the things that Kaneki hadn’t said but had shown.

“He’s not the type of person that I thought I’d like,” Hide confessed and Yoshimura hummed beneath his breath.

“Kaneki is unique,” he admitted.

Hide scoffed, his fingers tightening around his cup. “He’s insane,” he responded, glancing up when his tone came out harsher than he’d intended. “I’m not stupid, I know that he’s crazy but he…” Hide trailed off because there weren’t words to describe his draw to Kaneki.

“But he can also be kind to those he cares about,” Yoshimura suggested and Hide nodded because that didn’t make it right…didn’t make wanting Kaneki right but he couldn’t stop himself.

“I didn’t call you here to question your choices, Hideyoshi,” Yoshimura sighed and Hide glanced up at him only to find the man staring off in the distance like there was someone or something there that Hide couldn’t see and not for the first time Hide wondered just what Yoshimura had lost that had turned him into the ghoul…the man he was today.

“I thought I’d have the kind of love that my parents had,” Hide offered up before taking another sip of his coffee. “They met at work, if you can believe it. My dad used to say that it was love at first sight and they were in love…they died trying to save each other,” Hide finished on a whisper, blinking past the sudden blurriness in his eyes as he remembered the way that his dad had shoved Hinami into his arms before running back into the house. “I hated them for that, for loving each other so much that they didn’t think about what would happen to me. He could have saved himself, he was outside,” he gritted out before shaking his head and taking a breath, swallowing past the lump in his throat.

“But Kaneki sees only you,” Yoshimura guessed and Hide nodded.

“It’s selfish and I hate the part of me that likes it, likes the fact that he’d kill for me…that I’d want him to,” Hide whispered.

“Love is often a little selfish, the type of love that we ghouls share is sometimes even more so,” Yoshimura noted and Hide didn’t know if he was imagining the tenderness in the man’s voice.

“I’ve never been selfish before,” Hide snorted as he glanced up at Yoshimura, who was watching him patiently. “I think I like it a bit too much.”

“Simple pleasures are usually the best,” the manager responded, his eyes narrowing for a moment. “If you don’t mind my curiosity, I’d like to know where your parents worked.”

Hide opened his mouth for a moment before snapping it shut, a frown flitting across his face. “This is going to sound stupid but they worked from home mostly so I…I don’t actually know who they worked for. They said they used to go into an office but that was before I was born,” he explained and Yoshimura nodded.

“Thank you,” the man responded and Hide shrugged because it wasn’t like he’d given him anything important.

*O*

Kaneki accepted the package from Nishio with a nod, ignoring the way that the other ghoul’s eyes flickered to where Hide was sitting engrossed in his book. Kaneki also ignored the leer that Nishio shot his way because Kami only knew what Nishio thought he knew about what was going on between him and Hide.

Rolling his eyes, he shut the door in Nishio’s face when the idiot started making crude hand gestures.

“Somehow I always expected him to be more mature, given how he acted at school,” Hide piped up from his spot and Kaneki quirked a brow because he hadn’t been aware that Hide had noticed the exchange.

Hide’s lips flickered up into a tiny smile and Kaneki didn’t miss the way that his eyes tracked the package in Kaneki’s hands.

Pausing he eyed Hide, “Does it bother you?” he inquired softly, suddenly glad for the opportunity to test the waters.

Hide wrinkled his nose but the smile didn’t leave his face. “I don’t expect you to starve and I know you haven’t…” Hide paused, biting his lip and Kaneki had to stifle the urge to replace Hide’s teeth with his own. “I know that you haven’t been _out_ since I’ve been sick so it’d be cruel of me to judge,” he noted and Kaneki inclined his head as he set the package on the table and retook his seat by Hide’s side.

The blond didn’t tense at all nor did his eyes linger on the meat on the table in front of him.

“Do I still scare you, Hide-kun?” Kaneki breathed and Hide froze like a rat that had sighted the cat that was stalking it. It was a bad comparison to make when Kaneki was already fighting every impulse to spread Hideyoshi out beneath him and devour him whole…in the metaphorical sense, of course.

Hide glanced down at his sleeves, picking at the fraying fabric for a moment before he glanced back up at Kaneki’s face and Kaneki met his gaze steadily.

“I’d be a liar if I said you didn’t scare me but I’m more scared of the things that you might do instead of being scared of you, if that makes sense?” Hide frowned. “At first you were terrifying because the ghouls I knew were either like the ones who lived here or the people like Tsukiyama and I didn’t know which category to put you in but I think you’re a little bit of both and that’s okay because knowing that makes me feel a lot better. I don’t like not knowing things, it makes me feel out of control and I trust you. I think if the time ever came where you…where you wanted to do something to me, you’d at least make it so that I had a chance.”

Kaneki’s mouth snapped shut. He hadn’t even realized that he’d been gaping at Hide and he ducked his head to hide the flush he could feel burning his cheeks. It felt like Hide had stuck his hand into Kaneki’s gut and pulled it all out so that he could examine every part of him and for some sick reason Kaneki found that he liked the feeling.

Exhaling slowly he stared at Hide, “It’s good that you feel that way because you scare me too,” he responded honestly and at Hide’s quirk of a brow, Kaneki slid his hand across the space between them so that their fingers were brushing. “I want you to want me and the lengths I would go to ensure that means you have more control over me than I’ve ever wanted anyone to have but with you it doesn’t feel restrictive. I want you to own me,” he confessed not reacting when Hide tangled their fingers together.

“But I don’t control you,” Hide pointed out and Kaneki couldn’t help the snort.

“You do, you just don’t realize how much,” he whispered.

*O*

The smell of smoke clawed its way into Hide’s dreams, clogging his lungs until he woke heaving for breath, fingers scrabbling at his throat and it wasn’t until his eyes started watering that Hide realized that it wasn’t a dream.

He was off the bed in an instant, scrabbling forward, almost pitching over the clothes on the floor.

Yanking the balcony doors open Hide flinched as light bleared through his senses and the sound of a helicopter’s blades filled his ears.

Flinging himself to the ground he heaved, his brain stuttering over the sudden influx of sounds and shouting.

He wasn’t stupid, there was only one set of people who’d have this type of artillery and the thought had Hide’s heart stuttering in his chest.

Shaking the fugue from his mind he crawled across the floor, keeping himself low so that he wouldn’t be sighted until he could make his way back into his room.

The mask was there, peeking out from beneath his pillow and Hide didn’t think as he pulled it on.

The material settled across his face, filtering out some of the smoke and he inhaled deeply before yanking on his clothes, reaching beneath his bed for the baseball bat that he’d purchased on a whim.

He’d never been more thankful that he’d let Kaneki force him to watch Paranoia Agent.

Staying low, he slipped across the rooms again, pressing himself against his door but he couldn’t hear anything on the other side.

Opening it slowly he glanced out into the smoke filled corridor.

No shapes disturbed the slow curling plumes of smoke and Hide slipped outside, turning right as he kept pressed to the wall.

Hinami’s door swung open silently as he tried the knob and Hide closed it behind him before making his way across the room.

He could just make out Hinami’s form curled up on the bed and a part of him wanted to rage at the unfairness of it all because Hinami was just a child, she shouldn’t have to face this not once but twice.

Gritting his teeth, Hide took a step forward only to freeze when something creaked out in the hall.

Pressing himself against the wall again, he held his breath.

The door opened slowly and Hide narrowed his eyes, his fingers tightening around the bat as an unfamiliar man stepped into the room, gun raised.

The man might have been a stranger but his uniform was enough to have rage bubbling in Hide’s gut.

Inhaling Hide stepped forward as the stranger did and _swung_.

The sound of the bat slamming into the man’s head was sickening but Hide barely heard it. All he heard were his parents’ screams and Hinami’s sobs as she watched the fire consume her mother.

Hide swung again and again, until blood soaked his shoes and turned Hinami’s carpets crimson, until flecks of flesh splattered over his jeans.

He didn’t stop until another sound reached his ears and his head snapped up, the film of rage and blood seeping away at the sight of Hinami huddled on her bed.

“I…” Hide stopped, taking a step to the side so that he was blocking the man’s body from the girl. “It’s just me, Hinami-chan,” he whispered and Hinami’s eyes widened before she stepped off the bed.

“Hide-kun?” she murmured and Hide nodded; smiling despite the bile clawing at his throat and the fact that Hinami couldn’t see the expression through his mask.

“Get dressed, we need to go,” he ordered.

He had no clue where the others were but he was going to get Hinami out of there if it was the last thing he did.

He’d promised her that he’d keep her safe and he wasn’t going to break that promise.

Hinami nodded and Hide turned his back as she headed for her clothes.

Hinami was quick and Hide barely resisted the urge to flinch when she slid her hand into his but he managed it, tightening his fingers as she stared up at him, her face made hazy by the smoke streaming into her rooms through the open door.

“Come on,” he urged, stepping over the body without a glance back.                          

The hallway was silent and Hide kept Hinami close as they made their way towards the stairs.

Before they could set foot on it the ground rocked beneath their feet, flinging them backwards.

Hide twisted as he fell taking the brunt of it as he wrapped his body around Hinami’s.

The impact jarred his bones, slamming his teeth together hard enough to send pain radiating through his jaw and for a moment he froze there…stunned.

Beneath him Hinami made a soft sound and Hide forced himself to let her go and push to his feet before pulling her up.

“Are you okay?” he whispered and Hinami nodded.

Nodding at her, Hide glanced towards the stairs.

The ground felt steady now but Hide had no clue what had caused the mini earthquake. Firming his resolve he took a step closer and glanced down but the stairwell was empty and he tugged Hinami with him as he descended.

More smoke rushed up to meet them and out of the corner of his eye Hide saw Hinami raise her sleeve to cover her nose as they stepped out onto the shop floor.

The room was on fire, the familiar space engulfed in flames that had sweat prickling Hide’s skin and the thought of this place being gone almost drove him to his knees. This was his sanctuary, the only place that had been safe after that night but even as the horror rushed over him, Hinami’s small fingers in his hand kept him grounded.

The glass clouded over for a moment and Hide dragged Hinami backwards as the window shattered beneath the body that slammed against the fragile surface sending shards of glass raining down on them.

*O*

Kaneki flicked his kagune impassively watching as the body it had impaled slid off the tip, falling onto two of the man’s colleagues.

Yoshimura had been foolish to think that the CCG would have approached them with honour. There was no honour among them, they didn’t care that they were killing children, the innocent and the elderly. They just wanted to wipe out all of the ghouls and while once upon a time Kaneki would have cheered them on…now he had something to protect.

Amon darted towards him and Kaneki flung himself forward, twisting his body in a way that sent his kagune spiralling around his body like a tornado which impacted on the man’s weapons, forcing him back and away from the shop.

Skidding to a stop Kaneki let the sound of Hide’s heart ground him.

For Hinami-chan…for Hide, he’d watch the world burn.

Kaneki’s kagune rose in response to his thoughts, curving as they flanked his body and with one last thought for Hide, Kaneki rushed to meet the oncoming onslaught of operatives.

The ground vanished beneath his feet as his kagune swept him up and over their heads, holding his body suspended while they crushed even more of the operatives.

The screams made Kaneki want to laugh, the urge clawing its way up his spine and he shuddered as familiar fingers slid around his waist, holding him close but it was just an illusion…she was just a ghost.

The distraction was enough for Amon and Kaneki jerked as the man took out one of his kagune but as quickly as it had dissolved another replaced it…still not a centipede and for that they should be glad.

Spreading them wide Kaneki let himself drop like a stone, slamming the appendages down around him and the ground rocked as the impact cracked the concrete, splattering the bodies of even more of the operatives beneath their weight.

Out of the corner of his eye Kaneki caught sight of Touka moving through the chaos around them and he nodded at her before returning his attention to the fight.

*O*

Shaking off the glass, Hide rose to his feet and froze as he caught sight of Kaneki.

The ghoul was barely a blur between the CCG members, his kagune lashing out in several directions at once as he drove them back, the black of his outfit making it difficult to keep a track of him against the dark backdrop of the night.

One of Kaneki’s kagune rose above his head, as the operatives fell back, holding a still twitching body and the blood washed down on the white haired ghoul like rain but the Kaneki didn’t seem to notice it.

Inhaling sharply Hide turned away pulling Hinami up and urging her out the door.

Pausing in the darkened space he pulled her close, keeping her body behind his as another shadow detached from the walls but the sight of Touka’s familiar mask had Hide’s heart slowing.

“What the hell are you still doing here?” Touka demanded but Hide just shook his head and shoved Hinami at her as he caught sight of more movement heading their way. He didn’t have the time to ask Touka how the hell she thought they would have left with no one there to help them. Accusations had no place here and Touka’s presence gave Hide the opportunity he needed…there was no way he was going to pass that up.

“Take her, I’ll lead them away,” he ordered and Touka drew in a breath like she was going to protest.

“She’s a child, Touka-chan…she’s seen enough death. Just take her,” he begged.

“Hide-kun?” Hinami whispered and Hide lifted the mask just enough for her to see his smile.

“Remember what I promised you? I’ll keep you safe, okay?” he whispered and her fingers tightened around his as she nodded. “Okay,” Hide repeated, adjusting the mask as he turned to Touka. “I’m human, they’ll hesitate because of that but I need you to go.”

Touka was still for a long moment then she finally nodded. “You’d better stay safe or I’ll kick your ass myself,” she groused and Hide grinned as she vanished, taking Hinami with her.

Standing he stepped out into the light, giving the operatives who’d noticed Touka a clear view of him before running straight into the melee Kaneki was creating.

The world around him seemed to slow as one of Kaneki’s kagune slid by him and Hide’s heart stuttered in his chest but another appendage joined the first quickly followed by a gurgle and Hide spun on his heels just in time to catch a quick flash of Kaneki’s eyes as another operative went flying.

Pressing his fingers to the warm membrane Hide gritted his teeth as he met Kaneki’s eyes.

He hoped this wasn’t goodbye.

Breaking sharply left he let his legs go out from under him, his momentum sliding him across the concrete beneath one of Kaneki’s writhing kagune and he shifted into a roll that sent him back to his feet but out of range of Kaneki’s help as he tore down into the night.

The sound of feet pounding behind him made him smile only to have it wiped from his face as the familiar sound of a gun cocking filled his ears and Hide let himself slow to a stop, holding his hands out at his sides.

Above him the sky bled red and Hide hoped that it was a good sign.

“On your knees!” a voice snarled and Hide closed his eyes as he obeyed, the feeling of Kaneki’s kagune still burning the tips of his fingers as he clasped them behind his head.

Then the world went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger...for I am evil. Next update will be on Friday!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No matter what you think it was never my intention to harm your parents. We were there for the ghouls and the research that they’d left with…”
> 
> Hide scoffed as he stretched his fingers towards the ceiling, conducting an unseen orchestra.
> 
> “Now you’re saying that my family stole research from the CCG?” he demanded.
> 
> “Your family was the research,” the man breathed and Hide’s eyes snapped open.

“You’re human.”

Hide stared at the man sitting across from him, keeping his expression blank...the man didn’t even recognize him but then again why should he?

He’d been here for longer than he could remember and all he’d woken to were questions and more questions.

Hide let his lips twitch, “Is that why I’m still alive?” he inquired softly and the man frowned.

“You’re human but you were helping the ghouls,” the man noted and Hide wondered how many times they’d ask these same questions.

“They weren’t the ones who killed my family,” he responded lightly. “They also didn’t starve me but I guess hospitality depends on your host,” Hide grinned and the expression felt more like a baring of his teeth than anything else.

It looked like he’d learned more from Kaneki than he’d realized.

Hide didn’t mention the guards who thought it was funny to bang on his cell door while he was trying to sleep and he didn’t say a thing about the screams from the other prisoners…he doubted the operative would care.

The man leaned back in his seat, his dark eyes roaming over Hide’s face and Hide watched him just as solemnly.

Hide wondered if the man had gotten a promotion…after all he’d been the one leading the fight against Kaneki. The sling and bandages covering his face and arm said the fight hadn’t gone well…at least not for him and the thought had something warm unfolding in Hide’s chest because if Kaneki was alright then Hinami was alright as well. He was sure of it.

“You knew that ghoul, the one with the eyepatch,” the man noted and Hide cocked a brow.

“Did I?” he shot back, lips quirking when the man’s eyes narrowed into slits.

“I can’t help you if you don’t help me. If you want me to convince them to feed you then you need to give me something,” he demanded and this time Hide was the one narrowing his eyes as he clenched his fingers together to hide the shaking.

“My name is Nagachika Hideyoshi; I’ve lived in the 20th ward my entire life. I knew about the ghouls, I was afraid of them, just like everyone else is, to a point I still am. Seven months ago my parents brought home a dying woman and her daughter and when I saw the kakugan in her eyes I was terrified…I kept being terrified until she begged me to take care of her child and then your operatives came into my house and when my parents tried to fight them off they set it on fire,” Hide leaned forward, tears blurring his vision. “We were human and they didn’t fucking care, they killed my parents…not the ghouls, you did. Or at least your partner did but I didn’t see you fighting him all that hard,” Hide noted, watching as the man paled, his eyes widening. “You want me to help you? You want information? Then let me tell you this, he’s going to find you every single one of you because that’s what he does and when he finds you he _will_ kill you.”

“He’s a ghoul,” the man whispered and Hide’s lips quirked.

“You’re human; it didn’t make you any less of a monster.”

*O*

Amon ran a hand through his hair as he watched two guards escort the prisoner back to his cells.

“Was he telling the truth?” Akira asked and Amon glanced at her.

“In part…your father and I weren’t only tracking the ghouls. We’d been ordered to apprehend the researchers who lived at the address as well…things just got out of hand but we weren’t aware that they had a child,” Amon explained.

Akira was silent for a moment. “Why are they starving him?”

Amon frowned, “It’s the punishment they use on ghouls. I’ll see what I can have done.”

Akira nodded; stepping away as quietly as she’d appeared leaving Amon to watch the screen as they led the young man back to his cell.

The blond slumped against the wall for a moment before dragging himself to the cot and Amon switched the screen off as the man’s shoulder began to shake.

He hadn’t known that the researchers had a child but he wondered if his partner had.

*O*

Kaneki watched impassively as his kagune sunk into the operative’s skin, sending even more blood gushing out onto the floor as the man’s eyes rolled back in his head. The crunch that the appendage caused as it jerked upwards and snapped one of the man’s ribs almost blocked out his screams…almost.

Kaneki had been at this for a while and the bodies of the man’s colleagues littered the warehouse where they’d tried to corner him.

“I’m going to ask you again,” Kaneki whispered as he crouched so that the dying man’s eyes could fix on him. “Where is he?”

“Fuck you!” the man spat and Kaneki grinned.

“Do you know how long it would take you to die if I started with your extremities?” he pondered aloud. “Maybe your fingers first? You won’t need those and I’m not really hungry so I could take my time,” he whispered grabbing the man’s hand and his smile turned vicious as the man tried to pull away. “I’d have to seal the wounds after that; I wouldn’t want you to bleed out…”

“You’re a monster!” the operative spat, his eyes wild with fear and pain but this time Kaneki didn’t correct him because the man wasn’t wrong. Instead he leaned forward inhaling the scent of terror that soaked the man’s skin.

“The-they’re keeping him…” the man swallowed staring up at Kaneki. “If I tell you will you let me go?”

Kaneki cocked his head and stared down at him because the man wasn’t that stupid.

A small smile flitted over the man’s face as tears streamed down his face. “Will you kill me quickly?” he asked and this time Kaneki nodded.

The man copied the expression. “They’re keeping him with the most dangerous ghouls…because he said you would come.”

“He was right,” Kaneki whispered watching as his kagune wrapped around the man’s neck then with a quick tug and snap the light fled the man’s eyes.

“Do you think this is what Hide would have wanted?”

Kaneki didn’t turn at Touka’s voice instead he rose to his feet, rolling his shoulders as his kagune dissolved.

“He’s going to hate you when he finds out what you’ve done,” she continued but Kaneki just grinned.

Hide understood him more than Touka could ever know.

*O*

“Did they feed him?” Amon demanded as he watched the screen monitoring Hideyoshi’s room.

The guard nodded, “He won’t eat, sir.”

Amon frowned as he watched the man writhe on the bed, fingers pressed against his stomach, his lips moving silently. “Turn on the sound,” he ordered.

The guard’s fingers danced across the control board and the room was suddenly filled with the sound of heavy pants.

“I’m so…” the man giggled his eyes closing even as his tongue flickered out to wet his lips on the screen. “I’m so hungry, Kaneki-kun,” the man muttered to himself and Amon straightened.

“Send more food down there, maybe this time he’ll be cooperative,” he sighed and the guard nodded before rising to his feet.

Amon didn’t watch him instead he kept his eyes glued to the screen and the blond.

The door to the cell opened and Hideyoshi turned his head slowly watching as the guard entered the room.

Amon leaned forward, his eyes intent as he watched the man.

There was something in the expression on the blond’s face as he tracked the guard that had Amon’s fingers itching for his weapons but Hideyoshi didn’t move as the guard left the room. Instead he turned to stare directly at the camera and grinned.

*O*

Hide cocked his head as the door to his cell opened.

His stomach hurt constantly now, the sounds from it an almost unshakeable background noise but nothing that they brought to him was appetising even after they’d given up on feeding him a single slice of bread a day.

From his account he’d been in his cell for twenty seven days…at least he thought so, he might have been getting the days mixed up. There wasn’t much to do other than sleep and his body was too weak to contemplate any exercise regime to kill the time.

Blinking he refocused on the figure standing in the doorway.

It was the same investigator again and Hide’s lips curled into a smile even as his nostrils flared.

There was something on the man’s skin or clothing that smelled delicious.

“We just received the result of your blood tests,” the man offered up in lieu of a greeting and Hide closed his eyes as he waited for him to continue.

“No matter what you think it was never my intention to harm your parents. We were there for the ghouls and the research that they’d left with…”

Hide scoffed as he stretched his fingers towards the ceiling, conducting an unseen orchestra.

“Now you’re saying that my family stole research from the CCG?” he demanded.

“Your family _was_ the research,” the man breathed and Hide’s eyes snapped open.

“Your mother and father had both been selected from a range of candidates to house ghoul organs in an attempt to observe the reaction that a human body would have to it. Unfortunately your mother’s body expelled it and your father showed no reaction. It wasn’t until they’d vanished that the CCG realized that they’d been looking for the wrong thing,” the man explained.

Hide turned that over in his head. He didn’t know where his parents worked…they’d never told him but they had worked, he knew that. If they’d no longer been working for the CCG then who had they been working for?

“Why are you telling me this?” Hide inquired softly, watching the man from the corner of his eyes without turning his head.

Saliva pooled in his mouth as the man stepped closer.

“In a human’s body the ghoul material is usually expelled but in some cases it lies dormant unable to do anything much like someone who has rhesus positive blood until rhesus negative blood is introduced into their system. Then the body goes haywire, trying to attack the foreign substance. However unlike the normal reaction the ghoul blood doesn’t attack it mutates…strengthens,” the man breathed, watching Hide closely. “The reaction from the tests tells us that you’ve been exposed to a large amount of ghoul material in the last few months.”

Hide froze, “Transfusion or ingestion?”

The investigator shrugged, “Either would cause the reaction…is that what they did to you? We could help but you have to help us first.”

Hide’s mind flickered to the way that Kaneki had stared at him as he ate.

Kaneki’s words… ** _“You could say we put a lot of ourselves in our cooking.”_**

It had all been right there in front of him like Kaneki had been daring him to figure it out and Hide had…on some level he’d known but he’d still…

**_“But I don’t control you,”_ **

**_“You do, you just don’t realize how much,”_ **

The words materialized as if before his eyes and Hide exhaled slowly.

His mother had told him once that love was blind…Hide’s was only partially so.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hide whispered as he remembered the way that Kaneki had touched him, fragile flickers of emotions bleeding through his skin each time before Kaneki retreated. “No one’s given me anything,” he continued as his mind traced the lines of Kaneki’s smile, the quick beam that Hide got when he managed to get through Kaneki’s barriers…almost enough to see the man that Kaneki had been.

“You’re lying,” the man hissed and Hide turned his head slowly to glance at him, that scent catching his attention for a second before he refocused on the fury printed on the man’s face. “Ghouls only want one thing; do you think they were doing this for you? You’re not they’re friend, you’re their food!”

Hide blinked slowly, “Sometimes,” he agreed. “But not always.”

The answer was apparently the wrong one because the man snarled and slammed from the room leaving Hide to his thoughts and the rumbling of his stomach.

**_“You could say we put a lot of ourselves in our cooking.”_ **

“I hope you get here soon Kaneki-kun,” Hide whispered to the empty room, closing his eyes. “I’m so hungry.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first alarm had Hide’s eyes snapping open, his fingers curling in the crisp sheets beneath his body as he waited but the alarm didn’t stop instead another joined it and another until the night was filled with a cacophony of noise.
> 
> Pushing himself upright slowly, Hide inhaled as he tried to force his body to stop shaking.
> 
> The human body could only survive so long without food and despite what the investigators thought, Hide’s body had to still be mostly human…or maybe this was what a ghoul felt like when it had been starved.

Kaneki stood on top of the building and watched as the members of Aogiri Tree swarmed the facilities.

It had been easy to lead them to the information about the place’s whereabouts and now he was going to keep his promise to Hide.

With the thought in mind he stepped off the edge and vanished into the smog below.

*O*

The first alarm had Hide’s eyes snapping open, his fingers curling in the crisp sheets beneath his body as he waited but the alarm didn’t stop instead another joined it and another until the night was filled with a cacophony of noise.

Pushing himself upright slowly, Hide inhaled as he tried to force his body to stop shaking.

The human body could only survive so long without food and despite what the investigators thought, Hide’s body had to still be mostly human…or maybe this was what a ghoul felt like when it had been starved.

Footsteps thundered past his door and Hide shifted forward, bracing his hands on his knees as he rose to his feet.

His body lurched to the side and the room spun but the wall provided enough support and stability to guide him to the door.

The screams started as soon as he was slumped against the cool metal and Hide’s mouth watered as the scent he’d caught on the investigator caught his attention, bleeding through the immoveable barrier that kept him imprisoned.

Pressing his hands against the door, Hide closed his eyes as his fingers curled into fists.

The floor beneath his feet seemed to shift for a moment and Hide forced his eyes open, glancing down as something dark washed across his feet. Tilting his head, he let his knees give out, sliding him towards the ground.

Reaching out slowly, Hide dipped his finger into the liquid.

It stained his fingers a deep crimson and he paused for a moment before bringing it to his lips.

The taste washed over his tongue like a benediction and before he knew it Hide was on his knees scooping up more and more of it…more of the blood, it was blood and he was drinking it like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

His stomach growled at the thought of stopping and Hide closed his eyes as he pressed both hands to his face, shoulders shaking as he licked his hands clean.

The giggle that burst from him was inappropriate and obscene but Hide couldn’t stop. He laughed until tears poured down his face and he didn’t stop laughing as he collapsed backwards, splaying out on the floor as the screams and sound of gunfire increased in intensity and frequency.

*O*

Amon yanked his weapons free, ignoring the wave of pain that almost sent him to his knees, and glanced at Akira.

His partner was listing but she was still holding strong, despite her injuries, and Amon was thankful for that.

Their forces were being overrun but Amon wasn’t stupid, the ghouls had headed directly to the lower levels where the prisoners were held and the only new prisoner they’d gotten had been Hideyoshi.

While there had never been any link between Eyepatch and Aogiri Tree, Amon didn’t think that this invasion was a coincidence.

“Akira!” Amon called and the woman dispatched the last ghoul before moving to his side, matching Amon’s unsteady stride as he made his way to Hideyoshi’s cell.

Kicking the body of a dead ghoul away from the door, Amon keyed in the sequence only to freeze at the sight in front of him.

The blond was stretched out on the floor, his face and hands coated with blood and his eyes opened staring directly at the ceiling.

He didn’t move even when Amon stepped into the cell.

“I told you he’d come,” Hideyoshi laughed and Amon wondered if he should have been monitoring the man closer because there was something less than sane in the quality of his voice.

“We’re not going to let him leave here alive,” Amon growled.

That got the blond’s attention and Amon tightened his hold on his weapons as Hideyoshi rolled over onto his hands and knees, brown eyes locking on Amon’s face.

“How are you going to stop him?” The man asked lightly as if they were talking about something as insignificant as the weather.

“If he cannot be captured, he’ll be killed,” Amon shot back.

Hideyoshi giggled again, shoulders shaking as he closed his eyes. “You’d better try really hard, starting… _now_ ,” he whispered and Amon opened his mouth to respond.

He never got the chance as something wrapped around his chest and yanked him backwards.

The air whistled around him and Amon barely realized what was happening when his body slammed into the far wall of the corridor.

Fire raced through his limbs and stars danced in front of his eyes as he slumped, dazed and stunned. That was when he saw him.

The ghoul moved like a tiger on the prowl, body lax as his kagune trailed behind him.

Eyepatch’s suit was torn and bloody but what caught Amon’s attention was the beaklike mask on the ghoul’s face…it almost looked like a kakuja but it couldn’t be. From the reports that Amon had gotten the ghoul wasn’t able to control that form, yet the ghoul in front of him appeared fully in control.

Akira moved then, blocking the entrance to the cell but before Amon could take a breath Eyepatch was in front of her and all Amon could see was the sheer terror on her face a second before she went flying, the kagune rising to bat her out of the air like a pest.

Forcing himself back onto his feet Amon ignored the blood pooling beneath him.

The ghoul’s head snapped towards him, neck bent at an unnatural angle as he held Akira’s weapon aloft then as Amon watched he brought it to his lips and bit down, chewing slowly before his kagune rushed in around him and the rest of the weapon vanished.

Amon snarled and darted forward but the ghoul vanished and Amon skidded to a stop only to feel something brush against his back.

“Do you wish to die here?”

The voice was almost wistful and Amon made to move only to suck in a sharp breath as he felt something tearing into his wounds.

Glancing down he gagged as he watched the kagune slip beneath his skin. The pain made his head spin but try as he might he couldn’t move.

“Do you wish to die here?” Eyepatch asked again and Amon’s eyes fell on Akira’s still form. He gritted his teeth as the kagune dug deeper.

Then something moved and the ghoul was gone.

Amon slumped to the floor, his hands pressed against his gut trying to stop the flow of blood as the room danced before his eyes.

Blinking he glanced at the door only to watch as Eyepatch held Hideyoshi tightly in his embrace.

Amon was too far to hear what he was saying but Hideyoshi’s eyes met his own as Eyepatch shifted his uniform, baring the skin at his neck.

The blond didn’t take his eyes off Amon as he bit down; blood staining his lips and the last thing Amon saw before the world went black was Eyepatch’s fingers sliding into the blond’s hair as if to keep him there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what's happening next? Can you feel that things are about to get really messed up?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end, the end. Thanks to everyone who stuck it out with me and commented and left kudos. I do have a sequel planned but I won't start posting that until it's completed but thanks again, I'd never have finished this if it wasn't for you guys!

Hide clung to Kaneki’s back as they moved through the facility. Every so often the white haired ghoul would pause, his head cocked as if he was listening to something that Hide couldn’t hear. That behaviour was usually followed by Kaneki changing direction and Hide didn’t miss the sound of fighting that quickly filled whatever area they’d left behind.

Kaneki hadn’t said a thing since he’d urged Hide onto his back and Hide held his tongue as well.

His mind was a kaleidoscope of thoughts and feelings, each colliding against each other only to further his confusion and he curled his arms tighter around Kaneki as he remembered the horror on the investigator’s face.

He’d fed from Kaneki and while that apparently hadn’t been the first time, this time he’d done so voluntarily with little need for prompting, as if it was the most natural thing to do.

“It must seem disgusting to you…I hated it at first too but better it be me than someone else,” Kaneki responded, his voice husky in a way that Hide couldn’t quite understand and when Hide forced open eyes he hadn’t even realize that he’d closed, the single eye that existed in the middle of Kaneki’s mask was focused on his face.

Hide didn’t know what to say to that because he hadn’t even realized that he’d spoken aloud until Kaneki responded.

“It was the first thing I noticed when I came back…the smell of your meals,” Kaneki continued as if Hide was actively participating in the conversation. “It took me a while to realize what it was and you have Jason to thank for that because otherwise I’d never have guessed,” he huffed and Hide went rigid against his back.

“What meals?” he demanded and Kaneki glanced back at him.

“The ones your parents made for you…I heard you mention that once, that you’d never had to cook for yourself. Didn’t you think that was odd?”

Hide opened his mouth to respond but before he could Kaneki lurched backwards just as the ground in front of them erupted, sending dust and debris flying, forcing Hide to clench his eyes shut.

Opening them slowly he froze at the sight of the two operatives standing before them.

The easy way that they held their weapons spoke of experience and Hide wasn’t foolish enough to think that they were anything but Special Investigators.

Slowly Kaneki rose from his crouch, stroking his fingers over Hide’s legs in a gesture that was so quick and fleeting that Hide almost didn’t notice it over the pounding of his own heart.

“Put the prisoner down and step away,” one of the investigators ordered and Hide could feel the way that Kaneki tensed but he also knew that there was no way that Kaneki would be able to fight with him clinging to his back.

“Hide,” Kaneki whispered and Hide tightened his grip for a second before slipping from Kaneki’s back.

Then Kaneki _blurred_ before his eyes.

Multiple kagune rained down from the sky forcing the investigators apart and Hide pressed himself against the wall, ignoring the pain in his stomach as he focused on the fight before him.

*O*

Kaneki twisted in mid-air sending his kagune whirling and his lips curled into a pleased smile as one of them caught one of the investigators across the chest sending him flying into the other as Kaneki let himself fall from the sky, his kagune curling around him as the men retook their feet.

There was something about the armour that the two wore that had Kaneki’s mouth watering but he wasn’t here for that, he needed to get Hide out and to their safe house before the other members of Aogiri found them.

_“Kill them all, let me devour them for you…I want it all and after that I will still want more and more. Give it to me!”_

The voice made Kaneki sway as he pressed a hand to his temple.

He’d pushed himself too far already if he was hearing _her_.

The distraction was enough for the investigators and Kaneki snarled as pain laced through one of kagune as it melted away.

Swinging around to face his attacker, Kaneki twisted to the side barely avoiding the blade of the other’s sword.

His kagune lashed out, grabbing the man’s arm but he didn’t have the time to do anything when fire raced up his spine as the blade sliced through his skin.

He staggered forward, his eyes locked on Hide’s horrified face.

“The young ones always forget to protect their kagune sacs,” he heard someone say as he crumpled to his knees.

**_“One thousand minus seven.”_ **

Kaneki shook his head as his body convulsed…not you, not you…please.

_“More, more, feed us more!”_

“Stop it,” he whispered as his back arched.

Fingers brushed against his face and the slither of hair caressed his forehead.

 _“You’ll never get rid of us,”_ she whispered.

**_“You won’t mind if I take a finger or an arm, or maybe a leg?”_ **

“Shut up!” he snarled as his skin tore but the voice only grew louder and louder until they were all he could hear.

Then his body was moving without a single thought from him, his kagune twisting beneath his body as they hauled him to his feet.

There were three scents surrounding him and he wanted to devour them all.

The pain from before was merely a memory, nothing but a scratch compared to what he’d been forced to endure.

“My fing-fingers on the bench,” he laughed as he focused on the closer scents. The other was much more divine but these were closer, these had hurt him and he would make them scream for mercy.

_“More,”_

It was just a whisper now and Kaneki listed to the side as a heavier kagune tore its way from his sacs quickly followed by another.

**_“An arm, a leg, a few fingers…give them….”_ **

“Give them to me!” he snarled, giving voice to the creatures that lived in his mind.

The two scents were doing something now, something that made their smell intensify and it had him licking the blood from his teeth.

“A thousand minus seven…is what?” he whispered as he focused on the two but they didn’t respond. Instead they rushed him, their forms flickering from vision but he could still track them and he barely flinched as they carved away three of his kagune.

The pain peppered across his skin, making his eyes roll and he cackled at the look of confusion on their faces.

“M-mama, I’m so fucked up,” he chuckled as they charged him again, cutting away chunks of flesh and kagune until the floor beneath him was slippery with blood.

The kagune lifted him then, holding him a few inches of the floor and he swayed in their hold.

“Give it to me,” he whispered as they paused and that was the only opening he needed.

Sling shooting himself across the room he curled around one of the investigators, his kagune pinning the man’s limbs to his own body and the smell of terror that rose from him in waves made Kaneki grin a second before he bit down, his teeth shredding the armour that protected the man’s body and the scream that ripped from him was so so…

_“More!”_

Biting down again and again, Kaneki barely noticed the shouts and screams, barely registered the feeling of his kagune being attacked because they grew back twice as quickly as they were removed. There was nothing within his cocoon but the need to feed.

**_“An arm!”_ **

Kaneki threw his head back in ecstasy as he used his hands to claw more of the armour and even more flesh into his mouth, smearing his face with blood as he ate.

“Let him go!”

Kaneki opened his eyes slowly, his lips twisting into a frown when he realized that his captive was no longer moving.

Unwrapping his legs he let himself fall from the man’s back as his kagune untwined.

Instead he refocused on the scent in front of him.

He listed to the side, drunk on the warm meat in his stomach and the sense of freedom that filled his limbs as he stumbled towards this new meal.

The man moved, weapon swinging in an arc that was too fast for the human eye but in this form Kaneki was so far removed that it was almost easy to get his kagune beneath the weapon’s blade and force it backwards, sending it’s wielder back a few feet with the force behind the appendage.

“A thousand minus seven is what?” he asked because it was important that he know, it was important that the meal understand…it was important that he know…

The blade was swinging towards him again and this time Kaneki let it connect, let it carve through the kagune that dissolved as Kaneki’s body shook, the pain clawing its way up his spine like a lover’s caress.

“A thousand minus seven is what?” he repeated as the meal retreated.

He could smell its fear, the terror that seemed to permeate every inch of its skin and Kaneki wanted to taste it on his tongue, he wanted to devour it whole.

His stomach rumbled at the thought and one of his kagune flickered out, wrapping around the man’s leg before he could react, then with barely a twist it _lifted_ , suspending its prey in mid-air before slamming him against the ground, hard enough to send his weapon spinning across the room.

“A thousand minus seven,” Kaneki demanded as he walked slowly towards the meal that was trying to force himself to his feet.

Another of his kagune rose and slammed against the man’s back, sending him sprawling against the floor once more.

“A thousand minus seven, is what?” Kaneki whispered but the meal wasn’t moving, it was supposed to move, it was supposed to know, if it didn’t move, if it didn’t fight back where was the pleasure, where was the…?

“Nine hundred and ninety three.”

The voice was new and it made Kaneki hesitate just as he was reaching to take…

**_“Fingers, I want his fingers!”_ **

_“More!”_

But the meal could wait because this one smelled even better and it wasn’t retreating or trying to fight, it was just standing there and Kaneki’s mind didn’t know what to make of that.

“Nine hundred and ninety three minus seven?” he asked as the scent clogged his nose…it smelled like him and it was moving now, coming closer but it wasn’t him, how could this new scent be him and not him? But it knew the answers; it knew they were important…

“Nine hundred and eighty six.”

There were warm hands on his face and Kaneki found himself leaning into them even when they brushed over his lips.

He opened his mouth to ask again but the voice beat him to it.

“Nine hundred and seventy nine.”

The hands were curling around his mask now and Kaneki’s main eye focused on it, taking in a flash of yellow and a slow, broken smile.

There was a name there, somewhere in his mind but it was too loud, too loud for him to hear anything but the voices.

“Nine hundred and seventy two.”

The fingers tugged and the clamouring in his head grew even louder, urging him to eat, to devour but he couldn’t, not this one.

“Nine hundred and sixty five. We need to leave, Kaneki.”

His name…Kaneki knew his name, he knew his smile, he knew…

“Nine hundred and fifty eight.”

Kaneki’s fingers curled around the ones touching him and he watched as one of his kagune rose to slither across the other’s face, trembling softly as wet tongue flickered out to taste it.

“Nine hundred and fifty one.”

Kaneki pressed the kagune closer as the voices in his head died down and there was a moment of silence before teeth closed over the appendage and Kaneki exhaled softly as Hide, his name was Hide, bit down.

Blood slithered down Hide’s face and Kaneki pulled him closer as the layers of his mask crumbled and it was like he had finally broken the surface of the water that he’d been treading.

“Hide-kun?” he whispered and Hide grinned at him; baring blood smeared teeth, even as his eyes flickered around them.

“We need to go, now,” Hide urged and Kaneki nodded.

*O*

Hide curled himself around Kaneki as they left the building.

He didn’t question Kaneki’s apparent return to sanity or any of what he’d just seen because he wasn’t in the position to question anyone’s sanity.

He could still taste Kaneki’s flesh on his tongue and his lack of disgust horrified a part of him but the other parts of him were too relieved to care.

The walkway was littered with bodies and Kaneki was careful as he stepped around them.

“Hinami-chan was worried,” Kaneki offered up eventually, breaking the silence.

“Is she alright?” Hide asked as he buried his face in Kaneki’s hair.

Kaneki hummed. “The only person we lost was Yoshimura,” he responded lightly.

Hide gritted his teeth against the wave of sadness that brought tears to his eyes. “Did you…?” he trailed off but Kaneki apparently understood the question.

“They’re dead,” he responded and Hide exhaled slowly as they exited the compound.

Closing his eyes Hide inhaled Kaneki’s scent as he recalled the investigator’s words.

“Did you…was all of this because of my parents…because of who they were?” he whispered.

Kaneki paused then and Hide opened his eyes as Kaneki let him go, allowing him to slip down Kaneki’s back.

His feet were unsteady beneath him despite the fact that his stomach was no longer rumbling but Kaneki’s fingers steadied him as he turned so that he was facing Hide.

Hide’s eyes flickered from the cool grey of Kaneki’s human eye to the kakugan in the other.

“I wanted you when I was a human, I wanted to be your friend, I wanted you to notice me,” Kaneki explained. “The thing about ghouls is we can smell more than humans know. Your body was dying. It might have had something to do with what your parents were, I wasn’t sure but after the meals stopped your body started to fail. All I knew was that I’d found you again and I wasn’t willing to give you up.”

Hide frowned, “Dying?” he murmured.

Kaneki nodded as he stepped closer, hands flowing upwards until they were cupping Hide’s face.

“You’re not allowed to die, you’re not allowed to leave me again,” he ordered and Hide watched as the kakugan overtook his human eye.

“I didn’t leave you voluntarily the first time,” Hide pointed out trying to lighten the situation but Kaneki didn’t smile.

“You don’t understand, you’re the only thing keeping me sane. Not Hinami, not Anteiku…you. If you leave…if you die,” Kaneki dropped his eyes. “I don’t want to think about what I’d become. You can’t go where I can’t follow,” he pleaded.

Hide swallowed, if it had been anyone else he’d have joked and laughed it off but this wasn’t anyone else, this was Kaneki.

Kaneki, who’d risked his life for him.

Kaneki, who hadn’t let him die even when Hide had thought he wanted to.

Kaneki, who was more broken than Hide had realized.

“I won’t…” he whispered and Kaneki’s head snapped up. Hide met his eyes steadily, wrapping his fingers around Kaneki’s wrists. “I won’t leave,” he promised.

Kaneki’s lips twitched up into a tiny soft smile and Hide couldn’t do anything but lean forward so that he could taste Kaneki’s happiness with his tongue.

It tasted like sunlight and blood and Hide wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Pulling away he stared he kept his eyes closed as his mind flickered over everything that he’d learned, “What am I now? Am I still human?” he asked.

Kaneki hummed and tugged at him until Hide slumped against him. “You’re mine and I’m yours…nothing else matters.”

Hide clenched his eyes shut tighter as the image of Yoshimura burst to life before them.

Just this once…just this once he’d be selfish.

“Nothing else,” he repeated slowly before opening his eyes. “I want to go home, can we, please?” he whispered and Kaneki nodded before turning around so that Hide could climb onto his back again.

Burying his face in Kaneki’s hair Hide let himself cry…for Yoshimura, for his parents, for Hinami, For Kaneki and for himself.

He couldn’t go back but he could go forward…he could go home and that was enough.

*O*

“You’re certain that Hideyoshi had only a partial kakugan?”

Amon glanced at the investigator at his side, taking in the shock of white hair so like Eyepatch’s.

“Yes,” Amon responded, dragging his mind back to the present.

The other man nodded, “From now on this is our priority. We need to find the two of them and the others who escaped before they go to ground. The tests were inconclusive and without Hideyoshi we’ll have to start again. I’m not willing to have that happen.”

Amon nodded at that.

He had no doubt that the two were their top priority. There had been something about Eyepatch’s presence that had reminded him of only one other ghoul.

The one-eyed owl…the true one.

“We want them both alive…if possible,” the man reminded and Amon nodded again, biting his tongue.

He didn’t say what he thought because he knew it wouldn’t be welcome but he doubted that either of them would allow themselves to be taken alive…they’d kill everyone else first.

Amon just hoped it didn’t come to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you spot the famous saying first I'm dedicating a chapter of the sequel to you.


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